


Petrichor

by sachi_sama



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Halloween, High School, M/M, Slice of Life, Supernatural Elements, Werefoxes, Werewolves, bullying because of sexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4771487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sachi_sama/pseuds/sachi_sama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake isn't known for being careful. If anything, he's known to be bullheaded and clumsy, especially among his friends. But there's a secret he's kept from them his entire life to assure their safety, and he never dreamed one night would change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Secret and The Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Halloween project! I've decided to post the first chapter a little early in hopes that it would capture some readers! You guys can help me stay on schedule by badgering me to update on time. Regular updates will probably be established in October. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Petrichor: A pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.

The crisp smell of dead leaves and burning wood is in the air on Jake's walk to school, and it's the beginning of the day but he's already daydreaming about when he can sleep again. He's getting over a cold, is still sniffling a bit, but all in all he's glad he can finally go back to class since he's missed three days. It's Friday, which means all he has to do is last until the end of the day, and then he can go back home and curl up in bed until Monday if he wants to. His grandmother tried to force him to stay home again today, but he actually likes school. He's not exactly smart, and his grades definitely show it, but at least at school he gets to see his friends and mostly fits in. He loves his grandmother more than anything, but sometimes being around her and her abilities depresses him.

"Jakey!"

Roxy runs up to him, the heels of her boots clacking on the sidewalk. She's waving frantically, though he's  _clearly_  looking at her. He smiles and shakes his head, holding his arms open for her inevitable death-squeeze. Sure enough, she launches at him, giggling into his neck as he twirls her.

"Dude, I fuckin'  _missed_ you!" she announces. "I wanted to visit to see how you were but I also didn't wanna get your nasty sneezes, y'know?"

"Roxy, you texted me almost every minute! You knew how I was!" Jake laughs, setting her back down. She grins up at him.

"You didn't always answer me 'cause you were too busy sleeping and stuff. Plus I totally missed your cute face! And it's not  _just_  me who missed the cuteness that is Jakey Fuckin' English. You wanna know who else was all in a tizzy? Di-Stri, the enigma himself. He was totes missing your cute face."

"Yes, I'm sure he was," Jake says, sure she's exaggerating. The only time he even sees all of his friends at school is lunch, since they're all in honors and AP classes. The only honors class he has is literature, and that's because he's always been an excellent reader. Even so, he only shares that class with Jane, because Roxy and Dirk are both in AP literature. Jake tried to get in the AP class and was promptly told by the counselor that he almost definitely wouldn't pass. Jane said she didn't take the class because it would have been torture to have so many AP courses, but Jake sometimes wonders if she was just trying to make him feel better by turning it down.

"He was. Lunch is weird without you. It's mainly me trying to liven things up, him sitting there like a stone, and Janey eating some fuckin' gourmet shit and not wanting to share it unless I promise to eat 'civilly' and I'm like, 'what the fuck even  _is_  civil eating'? Needless to say your lack of presence was like a lost limb. We're legless without you, Jakey." Roxy smiles at him as they continue walking down the sidewalk. "Also, when do you think is gonna be a good time to drop the bomb on Di-Stri that you're pretty much head over heels for him?"

Jake sputters indignantly, tripping over himself. He looks around wildly to make sure no one heard.

"Shush, you! I am not head over heels for anyone! I am firmly very much  _not_  harboring any feelings for him, and I wish you would  _drop_  it!"

"Yeah, okay. Since this is opposite land lemme just say I'm totally straight and did  _not_  spend most of this week face-first in Janey's chest," Roxy says, waving her hand at the blush that spreads across his face. "You've gotta come to terms with it, Jakey. You're so in love with the guy that it's painful to watch. And plus, newsflash, he loves you too. I don't see what the deal is."

Jake refuses to comment because he knows Dirk extremely well and he doesn't think Dirk loves him that way. There have been a few times he thought they'd kiss, but nothing ever happened. He's long since accepted that he loves Dirk, and Dirk most likely doesn't love him back.

They walk to the front of the school where Jane is waiting, two coffees in her hands. She smiles at both of them and hurries to greet them, accepting a kiss from Roxy as she hands her the other coffee.

"Jake, it's so good to see you!" Jane smiles, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "Are you still sick?"

"A little," he admits. "But Gramma says it's probably not contagious anymore, so there's that bit of good news." He yawns widely and frowns a bit. "Mostly I am just extremely tired."

"You should've stayed home another day. It's almost the weekend anyway!" Jane says. "But I can see why you'd want to come back. You've missed the entire week, almost!"

"Don't remind the poor dude about his academics when his nose is as red as Rudolph's," Roxy admonishes. "You can just catch up when you're better," she says when she looks back to Jake.

"It's alright, trust me. Gramma wouldn't have let me come today if I were still too sickly. She's pretty stubborn about health and whatnot." He looks around. "Where's Dirk?"

Jane and Roxy exchange a knowing look that Jake is sorely tempted to smack them for.

"I think he's inside already," Jane says. "I haven't seen him because I was waiting for Roxy out here."

"Speaking of which, this coffee is like, the raddest thing I've had. You get all the girlfriend points for this," Roxy announces.

"It's pumpkin spice!" Jane says, looking pleased. "It's the season, after all."

Jake grins and leaves them to their affectionate gestures, not wanting to be a third wheel. They're good at remembering to include him, but seeing how close they are reminds him of all the things he wants to do with Dirk sometimes, and while he knows they would never  _mean_  to hurt him, sometimes they do, and it always makes him feel miserably guilty later on for even allowing himself to get mildly upset at such a silly thing. He decides today, he's in too good a mood to be affected. After all, it's almost the weekend! And like Jane said, it's the most festive season of the year, extremely close to Halloween!

He marches towards his locker, smiling at a few people who greet him in the halls, asking where he'd been. By the time he makes it to his locker it's close to time for the homeroom bell to ring, and he's rushing, wishing he'd woken up just a little sooner. He runs down the hall and makes it just in time, settling in his desk. He looks up when Jane rushes in, looking flushed and windswept as she hurries to her desk, mumbling apologies to their unconcerned teacher, who is really only there to take attendance anyway before they make their rounds to first period.

The senior class is divided into two homerooms, students with last names A-K, and then L-Z. Roxy and Dirk share a homeroom, and Jake has no doubts in his mind that Roxy is bragging to Dirk about the coffee and kisses she got from Jane this morning, and Dirk is probably sitting there with a mildly interested quirk to his brow. Jake can see him clearly in his head, and he groans because he actually does really wish he'd seen Dirk before homeroom. Now he won't see him again until lunch, which seems ages away.

The morning drags on, and in every class he receives make-up work, much to his chagrin. He'd hoped the load wouldn't be quite as massive, and he wonders exactly how much work his friends would receive if they missed their AP classes. By the time he's trudging into honors lit, his last class before lunch, he's feeling worn out and ready to sleep for three entire days.

"Oh, Jake," Jane says, moving to him, feeling his forehead. "You don't feel warm but you look awful! Are you sure you shouldn't call it a day?"

"I'm fine," he assures her, because he  _is._ It's just that his body is still exhausted from fighting off his cold, which really was less of a cold and more of the flu, though he refused to acknowledge that at the time. He's going to feel sluggish for a few days, it's just part of the process.

Jane frowns at him and takes her seat in front of him, and Jake almost cries when he sees how much work he's missed in this class. He has to read two short stories, complete the tests at the end of both stories, and write a paper on the lesson in this particular unit. Technically, he's known about the essay since Tuesday, but like hell he was working on it while he was crying in bed, and now it's due by Monday morning. He puts his head down and feels sorry for himself until the bell rings.

I can help with the story reading," Jane says, rubbing his back as they make their way to the lunchroom. "I read both of them last night; they're really short."

"The reading isn't the hard part!" Jake says. "It's the essay writing. I  _hate_  essays. Why are those even a frigging part of  _literature_? Essays are an English thing!"

"English as in the class, the language, or you?" Jane asks, and when he huffs at her she giggles. "I know it's a lot, especially on top of your other classes, but you've got time to work on all of it! You can finish the things for lit tomorrow night, and spend all day Sunday on your other tasks. You can do it."

He wants to say he  _can't_ , because he's feeling dramatic and weak, but Jane isn't the person to pull that with, because she'll demand he take more medicine and then stay at his side, nagging him about the projects until she  _knows_  they're done. He's silent at her side as she leads him to the lunch table, and once they reach it he sits, putting his head down in his arms and closing his burning eyes. It feels so good that he doesn't want to lift his head when Jane worriedly asks how he's feeling.

"'M fimmme," he mumbles.

He feels her sitting across from him, as she always does. Roxy sits beside her, and Dirk sits beside him. They're all lucky enough to have the same lunch period, especially because the next lunch period often runs out of the desserts when the cafeteria actually serves them. Jake almost always brings his lunch, but today he didn't bother, knowing he wouldn't be able to look at food without feeling gross. He looks over at Jane pulling out what seems to be something wrapped in a green tortilla. He eyes it warily.

"Is that...rotten?" he asks, and she scoffs.

"It's spinach flavored!" she informs him, biting into it. "I made grilled chicken and vegetables last night and made it into a wrap! Would you like a bite?"

"Ughhh, no thank you. I'm sure it's grand, Janey, but my stomach is still feeling a bit of stage fright when it comes to food."

"You  _have_  to eat!" Jane says loud enough that a few people turn to look at them. "Starve a cold, feed a fever!"

"Yes,  _Gramma_ ," Jake says sarcastically, and she reaches over to swat at his head. He grins at her before resting his head back on the table, closing his eyes again. He's almost asleep by the time a different pressure is in his hair, and he knows it isn't Jane.

"You asleep?" Dirk asks him in a gentle voice, petting his hair.

"Ngh," Jake responds, and Dirk's hand resumes its petting.

"You could've warned me you were coming back to school today," Dirk says. "When you texted last night you just said it depended, and then Roxy messaged me saying she thought you were dead."

"He literally sent me an indecipherable language!" Roxy defends from across the table. "It was concerning!"

"Oh yes, I meant to explain that I fell asleep on my keyboard last night," Jake says apologetically. "It was very sweet of you to check with me on Pesterchum, but I could barely focus on the screen." He yawns and puts his head back down, discreetly scooting closer to Dirk and his magic fingers. "Mmmm..." he manages while Dirk pets him. "Feels good..."

"Yeah?" Dirk asks, threading his fingers in Jake's hair slower, his fingertips dragging at Jake's scalp, and Jake has to suppress a shiver.

"Are you gonna feel good enough to go to my party tonight, Jakey?" Roxy asks, her mouth full of what seems to be Jane's green lunch. He looks up at her to see her wink playfully, her eyes looking to Dirk and then back to him.

"Party?" Jake asks, sitting up. He's glad when Dirk merely moves his hand down to his back, still rubbing its soothing circles. Dirk is generally very touchy with him, and stale hope flutters in his chest at the look on Dirk's face: slightly worried and protective, like he wishes he could shrink down and fight the germs out of Jake's body himself.

"Don't be crazy, Rox," Dirk says. "The poor guy looks like death, just let him sleep."

Jake huffs, offended, the hope in his chest fluttering right off a fucking cliff. "I do not!"

"Smooth," Roxy grins, and Dirk shoots her a desperate look. "I mean—uh. You do look rough, Jakey. We just know you so well, it's kinda hard to miss when you aren't feeling good. But it's a Halloween party! You gotta come! Can't you just...I dunno, take medicine or something? Halloween is your favorite and I'd hate to celebrate it without you!"

Halloween is actually on Wednesday of next week, but Roxy insists on having the party during the weekend, which is pretty understandable. Most of their classmates will be busy with other things Halloween night. The four of them will probably gather for scary movies at one of their houses, as always.

"I forgot all about it!" Jake says, a little guilty at Roxy's disappointed expression. "I—I'll take something and go. How could I not? Not even the flu can stop an English from celebrating Halloween!"

"Hell yeah!" Roxy smiles, giving him a high-five over the table while Jane and Dirk both shake their heads.

"You should sleep at home," Dirk says.

"Are you coming over tonight?" Jake asks him, disregarding his advice. They usually still sleep over at each other's houses on weekends since they hardly see each other during the week. Sometimes Dirk cuddles him in his sleep, and Jake is still optimistic enough to hope it means something.

"I was planning to, yeah," Dirk says like it's common sense. "But you're gonna pass out as soon as you hit the pillow."

Jake smiles, pleased at his answer, and he watches listlessly while Dirk chews a sandwich and shares Jane's chips with Roxy, who was most definitely a vulture in another life, seeing as how she always scavenges for food no matter how big her lunchbox is.

The day finally comes to an end after his math class, and he's so ready to go home he can barely stand it. He's actually dreading tonight, because while Roxy is outstandingly popular, a beautiful and wealthy socialite, he is most definitely  _not_  popular in any way at all, and will most likely be spending the night either joined at the hip with Dirk, or asleep on Roxy's couch.

"Dude, wait up!" Dirk yells after him, and he turns in surprise.

"Roxy's party isn't until much later!" Jake says like it's information Dirk wasn't already aware of.

"Yeah, but I thought—y'know. I haven't seen you in forever since you were practically dead," Dirk says in his usual monotone, but Jake's known him long enough to see past it.

"Are you trying to say you  _missed_  me?" he asks mischievously, and Dirk gives him an offended look. Deciding not to press his luck, he simply starts walking to his house while Dirk trails behind him. "I'm not going to be very entertaining, I'm afraid," he continues. "I was actually most looking forward to the prospect of napping."

"Well you are pretty much swaying on your feet," Dirk says. "You sure you shouldn't just stay home tonight? I mean, I know you're like the guru of Halloween and all, but it doesn't take a genius to know you still feel like shit. And since I  _am_  a genius, I'd say that makes me know it twice as much."

"I'm tired of lounging around!" Jake chirps, though he's very much looking forward to his continued lounging, especially if Dirk will be right there in the bed with him. They sleep over at each other's houses all the time, a remnant of their childhood. Jake is very aware most best friends don't still share a bed, at least, most  _male_ best friends, but Dirk has never had a problem with it, and Jake certainly isn't going to find one. "If I find myself feeling ill, I can always rely on you to get me home."

Dirk doesn't respond, but he looks very pleased with himself as they continue walking to Jake's house.

Jake's grandmother is at the stove, pulling out something that smells delicious, and Jake is suddenly starving and wishing he ate lunch. He moves to her side and examines what she's making.

"Pumpkin bread!" he exclaims, feeling emotional about it. She turns to smile at him and kiss his forehead.

"That's right. And I was thinking I could make your favorite soup for dinner? You haven't been eating!" She sees Dirk lingering by the doorway and smiles happily at him. "And there's my other missing grandson!" She hurries over to him and pulls him down so she can kiss his cheek. Jake laughs at the look on Dirk's face as he pokes at the pumpkin bread.

"Can I cut into this now?" Jake asks, his stomach growling in approval.

"Of course, but just be careful. I don't want it falling apart. It's still hot."

Jake cuts a big piece for himself and one for Dirk, bustling to get plates out of the cabinet while his grandmother catches up with Dirk. It's an odd occurrence for her not to see Dirk almost every day, just as it's odd for Jake to not have seen Dirk's older brother for almost a week. He knows Dave will probably grill him about his whereabouts later in a much less motherly fashion. Dirk and Jake have practically been inseparable since they were in diapers, and they spend more time together than apart.

He sits at the table while Dirk babbles about robotics to his grandmother, both of them using so many big words Jake doesn't dare try to follow. Dirk lets his backpack fall to the floor as he moves to the chair beside Jake, eagerly biting into his bread and continuing his rant while Jake's grandmother listens intently, nodding at intervals. Jake follows his lead and bites in, savoring the taste while trying not to think about Roxy's party and how he wishes he'd told her he didn't want to go.

"Jakey!"

"Huh?" he asks, turning to look up at his grandmother, who is giving him a firm stare.

"Dirk says you're going out tonight?"

"Oh, yes. Roxy's Halloween party," he replies. "I'm not planning on staying long, but Roxy gets offended if we all don't make an appearance."

She's still staring at him and he shrinks under her gaze.

"I think it's for  _me_  to decide if you're going out!" She informs him at last. "You've been holed up for days, practically delirious, and all of a sudden you think you're well enough to party all night?"

"I—my fever is gone! I thought that meant I was well! And I wasn't going to stay all night! Just an hour or two, I promise!" Jake says, giving Dirk a helpless stare.

"He'll be with me, Jade," Dirk says helpfully. "You know how stubborn he is."

Jake's grandmother smirks in response, and Jake huffs.

"Excuse you! I am not  _stubborn!_ "

"Yes, you are. It's a trait you get from me," Jade says, smiling at him. "You can go, but you're not staying late! I don't like the thought of you out after getting over the flu."

After devouring the bread and enduring more medicine and being prodded at, he trudges upstairs, flopping face-first into his bed with a happy sigh. He can hear Dirk talking with his grandmother some more downstairs, and it's actually a pleasant background noise that helps him drift off in a deep and much needed sleep.

He wakes up much later, very warm and comfy, and it takes only a moment to realize he's not alone anymore. Dirk is sprawled out beside him, reading in a huge book, and he looks over when Jake shifts.

"Man, you were  _gone_ ," Dirk says. "It was storming outside and the thunder was shaking the whole house. You didn't bat an eye."

"I was dreaming about a haunted house," Jake says with a yawn. "But it was haunted by gremlins...and it was like  _Ghostbusters_  but with gremlins."

"Sounds like a usual Jake dream."

Jake swats him and sits up, rubbing at his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost 8. But don't worry, you got time for the party. Like Jade said, it's probably gonna go on all night," Dirk says.

Jake looks between the blinds and sees it  _was_  pouring rain a short time ago. There are puddles in the street, illuminated by the streetlamps overhead, still rippling from what seems to be a light drizzle.

"Has she called yet?" Jake asks, knowing Dirk will automatically know which of their friends he's referring to.

"Nah, she's all occupied with her party for now. But she'll probably call in the next hour."

"Right. We should save her the trouble and get going now." But even as he says it he smells the soup cooking from downstairs, and when he hurries out of bed, it's not to leave the house, but to stuff himself with as much soup and bread as he can.

By the time he and Dirk are making their way to Roxy's house, the drizzle of rain has increased to a steady sprinkle, and they're both wearing their hoods. It's still mostly warm out, but the chill of autumn is in the air, and the brisk wind blows right through Jake. He's glad Roxy lives so close to him. It's only a fifteen minute walk, and while they could have taken Jade's car, he much prefers walking alongside Dirk, especially since he's been holed up in his room the past few days. Dirk shakes his head as Jake splashes in a puddle.

"You're gonna get sick again."

"Oh, shove off!" Jake says. "Rain doesn't make you sick."

"Yeah, okay. You remember that when your fever comes back and you're locked inside for four more days."

"I'll infect you this time and you'll be stuck inside with me!" Jake huffs.

"That's mature."

"That's biological warfare," Jake says, nodding at his own words. "You'll be an upset and sniffy mess, and I, having gone through it before once already, will be perfectly used to the illness."

"Oh my god, you are literally the most ridiculous person I know," Dirk says, but he's grinning.

"Ridiculously  _brilliant!_ " Jake informs him.

Roxy's house which is basically a mansion, is almost vibrating from the deep sounds of the rumbling bass up ahead, and Jake is dreading this even before he sees the throngs of people both in the yard and pouring into the house. He's not one for crowds, and he's definitely not one for music this loud. Both of them together has him on edge, and he's grabbing at Dirk before he can think better of it, a bad feeling in his gut.

"It's okay, man," Dirk says gently, knowing of his social anxiety better than anyone. "We won't stay long. Just stay close to me, alright?"

Jake snorts because where else would he go? He holds tightly to the back of Dirk's shirt, staying as close as he can without stepping on his best friend as he's led into the house in search of Roxy and Jane. They find the girls in the dining room where all the food is, Roxy stuffing her face with cheese cubes. She smiles and waves as Dirk and Jake make their way over to them and the refreshment table.

"You're looking a little better, Jakey," Roxy says, pinching his cheek. "And of course neither of you wore a costume." Roxy is dressed as a cat, and Jane is wearing what looks to be a sleuthing detective coat, a fake mustache on her face.

"I'm most certainly feeling a little better," Jake replies, not straying from Dirk's side. "I didn't have time for a costume! And you know Dirk usually refuses."

"Here, try this!" Jane interjects, giving him what looks to be a miniature cake. "I tried making petit fours! I think they turned out alright."

"Oh, listen to her. They turned out totally awesome and I'm making her hide them from all the asses here that won't appreciate them. I never know why you go out of your way to make such good shit for these parties! They'll be devoured in one bite." Roxy grabs one and eats it daintily as if to emphasize her point, and Jane gives her a fond look of bewilderment.

Jake reaches for one and is captivated by the little thing. It's so delicately crafted, and Jake has no idea how Jane and her father manage to do such wonders in the kitchen. Jake's grandmother is a great cook, but she isn't one for such masterpieces. Jake isn't complaining, because he can't cook more than a canned pot of soup, and he knows for a fact Dirk and Roxy are so smart that they're practically useless at anything that doesn't have to do with complicated math and technology. He once caught Roxy watching Jane work for hours on a very complicated souffle, a dumbfounded look on her face like she was watching someone disarm a bomb.

"This is  _fantastic_!" he exclaims as he bites into the cake, almost eating it in one bite like Roxy was saying, but it's kind of hard not to! It's so good! Roxy laughs at him as he grabs another.

"You're such a wild animal, Jakey. Terrified of crowds and people till they feed you." She grins as he tosses her a glare, and he pops the cake into his mouth, chewing hurriedly so he can give her a piece of his mind!

"I'll have you know most everybody here could feed me something and I still wouldn't like them one bit! It takes more than a bit of food to win this English over!"

"I dunno, dude, I heard we bonded because you were trying to share my juice-box with me," Dirk says.

"Lies! We bonded because your brother paid my grandmother to babysit you!" Jake defends, stopping himself from eating more. He's already eaten a  _lot_  in a short amount of time, and he doesn't want to get sick.

"Yeah, but lots of sharing went along with that," Dirk says. "I'm sure food was a prime factor."

Jake ignores him and looks around at all the faces in the room. He knows some of them from school, though a lot of these people are from Roxy's AP classes.

"Don't make that face, Jakey," Roxy says as Jake eyes the punch, frowning because he knows she's probably spiked it. "It's a holiday party, and holidays are perfectly normal to get drunk for."

"If anyone throws up in your house, your mom will flip the fuck out," Dirk tells her. "And does she know you're in her liquor stash again?"

"It's not like I'm drinking it!" Roxy hisses, throwing her hands in the air. "I told y'all I don't care about that shit anymore. The most I get is a glass of wine every now and then okay? Besides, Mom still drinks like a fish, so I doubt she'll notice more of her booze is gone when she gets home."

Roxy had a  _major_  issue with alcohol when they were younger, starting when she was only thirteen years old. She had all the time in the world to drink without getting caught because her mother was never home, was always off promoting some book. Her mom is a world famous author and psychiatrist, most of her books explaining mental illnesses, but Roxy swears she has a secret pen-name where she writes nothing but gay wizards defending the world. Roxy got to the point where she was showing up to school drunk, and Jake was planning on rallying his friends into giving her an intervention, but miraculously, Roxy stopped on her own. She always said it was because she realized she had a problem and just wanted to quit, but not long after she sobered up, she and Jane were dating, so Jake has always wondered if Jane was the reason Roxy quit.

Jane waves her hand through the air, not bothered by the alcohol in the least. "If they get trashed, that's their fault. It's not like any of us are going to drink it." She smiles at Roxy, who visibly calms in response. "Besides, Rose is gone for the night, so we can clean any messes before she gets home."

"Yeah," Roxy says, nodding at Dirk, who sighs in response.

Jake stays at Dirk's side for the rest of the night, which is pretty short, considering. There are a lot of people at the party, some of them getting too drunk to function, but luckily no one gets sick. Roxy has to shoo a couple out of her bed who were trying to desecrate it, and she huffily locks everyone else out of her room. In no time at all everyone is mostly either dancing drunkenly to the music or falling asleep on whatever surface they can lean against, and Jake is ready to go sleep for a thousand years if he can. He isn't really friends with anyone here aside from his usual group, and he doesn't want to rain on Roxy and Jane's festivities just because he's not feeling his best. He tugs on Dirk's shirt.

"Are you almost ready to make an exit?" he asks sleepily, yawning a bit. Dirk nods.

"Been ready since we got here. C'mon." He leads Jake back to the door, waving lazily to Roxy and Jane, who probably won't even notice their absence.

As soon as they're back outside, Jake is much happier. It still smells like rain, though the clouds are starting to disperse, tiny stars glowing at them between the cracks. He marvels at the sky as he splashes along.

"I think it's a full moon tonight," he muses, and Dirk glances up lazily before nodding.

"Probably. Man, I'm so tired. Didn't fuckin' sleep much last night since I was working on Squarewave's coding, and then had to be awake all day for school."

"You could have napped with me!" Jake says, flushing as soon as he says it. He thinks it sounds strange out loud, but Dirk just shrugs at him.

"I'm not like you. If I sleep during the day I can kiss any chance of sleeping at night goodbye."

Jake frowns, secretly grateful he doesn't have Dirk's sleeping problems. He can put his head on a pillow and be out in minutes, but Dirk might be up all night depending on what he's thinking about and whether he has to put his ideas into immediate action or not.

They walk through the silent and dark streets, and Jake is glad he lives close to Roxy. The trees are eerily rustling in the wind, illuminated by the emerging moon, and Jake very much wants to be home. He's always wary on nights of the full moon, knowing anything could be lurking in the shadows, and if he had known it was a full moon night he'd have insisted on taking the car. Dirk is blissfully unaware of these things, like all humans are, and Jake sometimes wishes he could tell Dirk about his concerns, but he knows that could get them in a lot of trouble.

He jumps when he hears leaves rustling in the woods, instinctively moving closer to Dirk, though there really isn't much he could do if they were to be attacked. They're extremely close to his house now, and he knows beings from Derse usually don't invade the human world, but they are known to be bolder around Halloween because the humans often mistake their appearances for costumes. There are protective spells on his grandmother's house, and he's antsy, moving faster, anxious to get there.

"Dude, slow down," Dirk huffs, jogging to catch up with him. "I'm ready to go the fuck to sleep too, but your house isn't going anywhere."

"I just really want to be home!" Jake says, pulling Dirk along. "I feel worse than I thought I did. I just need medicine and my bed!"

Dirk hurries a bit at the news that Jake doesn't feel well, and Jake smiles to himself in spite of things.

Jake's house is visible when the cracking sound of sticks and leaves gets closer to them. Dirk is seemingly unbothered by it, probably assuming it's an animal of some sort, and it very well might be, but Jake is still keeping a close eye on the outskirts of the woods. He's staring into the dark blackness between the trees when he sees it: a large black shadow with bright yellow eyes, leering at them. It's definitely not a human.

"Dirk!" Jake shouts, pulling his friend faster to his grandmother's house. They're so close—so  _close!_  But the growling noise is unmistakeable, and as soon as Dirk sees the massive black creature, he freezes, moving into a protective stance.

"Holy—is that a  _wolf?_ " he asks, completely bewildered as the beast lunges towards them, and Jake is tugging at Dirk's arm insistently.

"There's no  _time_ , Dirk, come  _on!_ "

But the wolf is already upon them, baring its teeth and showing them its frightening maw. Its hackles are raised, eyeing them like it wants them as its next meal, and Jake knows from the size and energy that this is no ordinary wolf. He wishes very much that he was magic right about now, but unfortunately for him, and for Dirk, he was never able to get a single spell to work for him.

"Shit, shit, fuck," Dirk is hissing under his breath, and Jake can hear his mind running a thousand miles a minute. "Are you supposed to fight wolves? Are you—will playing dead work? Is that a thing?"

"No," Jake says softly, taking Dirk's hand and slowly backing away. "Not this wolf, Dirk."

The wolf has its eyes trained on  _him_ , knowing that Jake recognizes what it is somehow. It crouches, ready to pounce, and Jake knows there's nothing he can do to stop it. In an instant, the wolf lunges for him, but before he can do anything, Dirk jumps in front of him.

"DIRK!" Jake screams, horrified as his friend is mowed over like he weighs nothing. Dirk is fighting the beast to the best of his ability, holding its face away by gripping into the fur on its neck.

"Jake—shit—fuckin' RUN!" Dirk growls, trying to kick the thing off of him. Jake looks around wildly for something he can use, and he has a large tree branch before he can think better of it, lifting it and whacking the wolf with as much might as he can muster. The thing stumbles off of Dirk, dazed from the blow to the head, and it's suddenly roaring at him, ready to pounce again. Dirk is scrambling to his feet, and Jake crouches, ready to fight, but then something flashes past them, a bright green light that hits the wolf in the face, causing it to yelp wildly in pain, falling over itself as it scampers away, its tail between its legs.

Jake stands, panting as the adrenaline causes his heart to beat wildly, and he drops the stick with shaky hands, turning to Dirk, who is cradling his shoulder, blood pouring through his fingers.

"Fuckin' wildlife, man...shit's insane," Dirk hisses through clenched teeth, looking into Jake's horrified eyes. "You think this needs a rabies shot?"

Jake hurries to Dirk's side, not having to turn to know it was his grandmother who saved them.

"We need to get him inside now, Jake," she says urgently, hurrying to them with a speed she doesn't look like she should possess anymore. "That bite is fresh and we have to act now!"

"I know, Gramma, I know," Jake says, wiping at his eyes as he sees the blood gushing from the bite wound. "Just—here, Dirk, lean on me?" He supports Dirk's weight, half carrying him to the house as Dirk breathes loudly, moving with increasingly sluggish steps.

"How'd...you get the wolf to go away?" Dirk slurs. "Wh-what was that light? What..."

"Shhhh, dear, you'll be okay," Jade says, helping to support Dirk's other side as he becomes a dead weight.

When they burst into the house, Dirk is unconscious, his body already succumbing to the fever that's fast moving. Jade hurries to her cabinet, getting out the needed ingredients for a potion while Jake hovers over Dirk, holding his hand and kissing his fingers, knowing Dirk is too far gone to feel it.

"Please, stay with me," he whispers, nuzzling at Dirk's hand, his eyes blurring with tears. "I should have been able to protect you but I...I'm a failure at these things. I wish I could have stopped it."

"Jake, we need—oh." Jade walks to his side and leans over, kissing his mop of hair. "He's going to be alright, Jakey. We're going to give him the help he needs not to turn into one of them."

"I was so useless...I..." Jake stammers.

"Shhhh. Here, hold this," she hands him the hurriedly thrown together potion. "I need to heal his wound first and stop the spread of the poison."

She says an incantation Jake has heard her use many times when he hurt himself as a child, quickly mending the holes in Dirk's shoulder with a light from her hands. In the next instant she's directing him to hold Dirk down as she pours the still bubbling potion down his throat. Jake doesn't see why he's holding Dirk against the couch, not at first. But then Dirk's eyes shoot open, and he arches, his face scrunching in complete agony.

"Hold him  _down_ , Jake!" Jade shouts over Dirk's screams.

"We're  _hurting_  him!" Jake panics, still doing as she says and using all his weight to keep Dirk from running off the couch or lashing at them. Dirk's legs are kicking wildly at the air, but he can't stop them from the angle he's sitting at to hold Dirk's upper-body down. Jade quickly maneuvers to the end of the couch, holding his legs still.

"It would hurt him a lot more to let him go untreated!" Jade says, barely audible over Dirk's continued screaming. They hold him down until his movements cease into twitches and jerks, his eyes already closed again. Jake and his grandmother both ease off him gently, panting as silence descends upon the house.

"There's no cure for it though," Jake whispers. "We—we can't save him completely...right?"

Jade brushes her hair back with a sigh. "We can't stop the transformation completely. But he will be sane during the nights of the full moon. And as long as he's docile, I don't see why he can't have a mostly normal life."

"This is all my fault," Jake says miserably. "I should have done something, I—I should be  _able_  to do the things you do, but I  _can't_."

"You'll make your own path, Jakey," she says, gently petting his hair. "And...so will Dirk."

"Do...you think he'll turn completely into a wolf on the next full moon?" Jake asks, observing as Dirk whimpers in his sleep, his brows furrowing.

Jade doesn't answer him for a long while, simply watching as Jake kneels beside the couch and pets through Dirk's hair, murmuring comforts until Dirk's twitching stops, like he's straining to listen to Jake in his sleep.

"We'll have to wait and see," she says at last.

Jake frowns up at her, not liking the sound of that at all. Together, they manage to get Dirk up the stairs and to Jake's bed, where Jade helps pull off his blood-soaked shirt and jeans. Jake doesn't feel much aside from sadness, even at the sight of Dirk's uncovered skin. Dirk's life might be ruined. In a month, when Dirk changes, they're not going to have anything to tell him but the truth.

"Jakey," his grandmother sighs. "You're too worked up. You know there isn't anything to be done now. We have time to think of something."

"No we don't," Jake says, covering Dirk with the blankets.

She shakes her head at him and leaves the room, bustling about in the cabinets downstairs before he hears her coming right back toward his room.

"Here," she says to him softly. "Drink this, it'll help you sleep. You can't be up all night with worry; you're still getting over the flu."

He takes the potion from her and drinks it listlessly, certain he'll stay awake despite it because his stomach is so knotted up with dread. She kisses his forehead and leaves the room again, and he shrugs off his own bloody clothes, replacing them with his night clothes. As he flops onto his pillow beside Dirk, he stares at Dirk's sleeping face, scooting closer. Dirk is knocked out anyway, it's not like there's any chance of him waking him.

"I'm sorry..." Jake says quietly, thinking of how Dirk's life is going to be changed forever. He puts his forehead against Dirk's, tears welling in his eyes. Dirk makes a tiny noise in his sleep, shifting so drastically for a moment that Jake thinks he's woken up somehow, but Dirk merely wraps an arm around Jake, pulling him closer, still very much asleep. Jake hugs him in return, trying not to cry and failing miserably. His eyes grow heavier until he can't keep them open anymore, and he feels the potion pulling him into blissful unconsciousness, Dirk's heart beating steadily and comfortingly against his cheek.


	2. The Sickness and The Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've received fan art, and you should all behold it with your eyeballs!  
> [This](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/image/129186186135#_=_) lovely one from [kitkattz83!](http://kitkattz83.tumblr.com/)  
> And [this](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/image/129051761870#_=_) one from [genetically-terminal!](http://genetically-terminal.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Hiraeth: A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.

Jake wakes up feeling overly warm, and it doesn't take long to figure out why. Dirk is holding him tightly, wrapped around him like he's worried Jake will leave, and he's burning up. Jake remembers the night before in a horrible flash, and despite the extreme heat, he's unwilling to let Dirk go. He presses his face further into Dirk's neck, inhaling his scent. Dirk always smells like he just had a shower, even if he hasn't.

Jake stays in bed for a long time, pondering exactly how long he's known he was in love with Dirk. It seems like it's been as long as they've known each other, too long of a stretch to pinpoint the exact second it happened. He almost feels like as soon as his toddler eyes landed on Dirk, he already knew, but then he decides that's not exactly right. Dirk probably just had a toy Jake wanted badly enough to have it capture his tiny attention span, and then Jake befriended him. He contemplates more opportunities he might have had to realize his affections for Dirk, but before he can settle on any, his stomach growls. He sighs, knowing he should get up and help make breakfast. Dirk will undoubtedly be starving when he wakes up, and Jake still has to ask his grandmother what they're supposed to tell Dirk happened last night.

Gently, he untangles from Dirk's grip, his feet barely landing on the floor when Dirk's eyes wearily open to gaze at him. He looks awful, and Jake's heart clenches for him.

"Don't go..." Dirk rasps, lifting his hand to rub at his eye before he grabs for Jake's shirt.

"Oh, you silly thing, you  _must_  feel awful if you're saying things like that," Jake grins, moving out of his grip. He tucks Dirk back in and smooths the covers. "I'm going to make some breakfast. You need to eat something since—um...you must have gotten my cold."

"Asshole," Dirk grumbles, and Jake snorts because  _that_  sounds more like him.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was still contagious. Now then, you should sleep. I'll bring you some of whatever Gramma and I whip up."

Dirk doesn't answer because he's already asleep again.

Jake descends the stairs and finds his grandmother in the kitchen, looking over what seems to be a book on the creatures of Derse. She jolts when he comes in and relaxes when she finds it's only Jake.

"You gave me a fright!" she reprimands. She waves her hand and the book flies back to its shelf in the living room. "I was reading about transformations."

"Anything informative?" Jake asks, and she nods, looking grim.

"The potion I made for Dirk is only going to aid in keeping him sane during the full moon. You already knew it has little to no effect on the transformation process. Dirk is in for a very painful weekend."

Jake frowns at her. "As in  _this_  weekend?"

"He's going to have an awful fever. I can brew a few things to help him, so it'll be wise to keep him here with us. I can call Dave and tell him Dirk caught the flu you had."

Jake sighs and nods, hating this. "Do you think...he remembers any of what happened last night?"

"It's hard to say," Jade tells him. "As soon as he was bit the fever started to set in, and that could have distorted what he saw and remembered. But since Dirk is such a sharp boy, I think he'll recall some of it at least."

Jake starts to ask what they should tell Dirk happened when they hear a large crash upstairs, followed by Dirk tearing down the stairs, still clad only in his boxers. His eyes are wide, and his hair is everywhere, a sight Jake doesn't think he's ever seen in his life.

"Good morning, Dirk," Jade says, unfazed.

Dirk glances at her but then turns to Jake. "You—you're okay?" he asks, looking confused and slightly terrified.

"Me?" Jake asks, motioning to himself. "I'm fine! What's the matter, Dirk?"

"You were attacked by a wolf!" Dirk almost shouts. "It was bigger than that kitchen table and you're –you're telling me you don't  _remember_?!" He looks from Jake to Jade.

"Oh, you poor dear," Jade coos. "You must have had a fever dream. Jakey's fine! There wasn't any wolf. As big as a table you say? That's quite the dream!"

"I told you I gave you my cold," Jake adds, giving Dirk an apologetic stare.

"You had the  _flu_ , Jake," his grandmother says sternly, turning to frown at him. "And the sooner you admit it, the better!" She turns back to Dirk. "You weren't feeling well at the party last night and Jake helped you get back here."

Dirk is giving them a look like he thinks their hair is on fire.

"Wha—no. There...there was a wolf! It bit me!" He points at his shoulder until he notices there aren't any marks from the bite. Jade healed them so they wouldn't even scar.

"Dirk, you should go back to bed. We're going to call your brother to let him know we'll be taking care of you this weekend. If you go home, you'll only give him the flu, and trust me, you do  _not_ want to be witness to Dave Strider being sick."

Dirk keeps staring at Jake pleadingly, as if asking him to assure him he didn't imagine any of this, but Jake keeps his face impassive as best as he can. He moves to Dirk's side, turning him back towards the stairs.

"Come now, we have to get you well! Don't worry about that silly dream. It wasn't real."

"Jake, I'm  _telling_  you. I know that was real! It had to have been!" Dirk lets Jake steer him up the stairs, but he keeps looking at Jake as if he thinks Jake is pulling a trick on him.

"We'll discuss it more when your fever is down," Jake says. "Gramma is going to give you the medicine I was taking. It tastes awful, but it really helps!" He leads Dirk back to bed and gently pushes him into the mattress, tucking him back in. "Sleep. You'll feel better."

"If there wasn't a wolf, then where are my clothes?" Dirk asks, a triumphant look on his face. "Explain that."

"You were stumbling so much when I was helping you home that you got really muddy," Jake lies so smoothly he surprises himself. "Gramma is washing them for you now."

Dirk gives him a long stare, studying his face. When he finds nothing, Dirk flops into the pillows, glaring at the ceiling.

"Something ain't right about all this," he says huffily.

"I know. But once you've had your fill of breakfast and some of that medicine, you'll feel better about all of it. Fever dreams are tricky. I had one where you were walking around in silly poofy pants, and I convinced myself you actually owned them," Jake smiles.

"Okay, but nonexistent poofy asshole pants are one thing," Dirk says. "Very real and weird wolf attacks are another."

Jake leaves him to brood and moves back downstairs, hurrying to his grandmother's side.

"He's so bullheaded! That idiot isn't going to believe a word until I'm honest with him!" he fumes, crossing his arms. Jade turns to give him a fond look.

"You only have to wait a month. By that time he'll be changing enough to notice the truth himself."

"But...will we get in trouble?" Jake asks softly. "You said it's forbidden for humans to know anything about Derse, aside from us."

"Jake, sweetie," she says, turning to him fully. She reaches up and pets his cheeks. "Dirk isn't human anymore. You have to realize that."

Jake stares at the floor. "I do realize that, it's just...I don't want to."

"I know, because Dirk may be bullheaded, but he's got nothing on you." Jade smirks at him. "Give him the month to figure things out on his own. We can both tell him all about it when the times comes. Right now I don't want to overload the poor thing. We're honestly doing him a big favor by giving him this to focus on, rather than the fever in his body. He  _can't_  be feeling well at all."

Jake helps her make a very fueling breakfast of french toast and sausage, one of his favorites. He drenches Dirk's plate with syrup and carries it upstairs, hoping he'll find Dirk asleep, but of course, Dirk is propped against the pillows, looking sullen and grumpy.

"Breakfast!" Jake chirps, moving to the bed. He sits at the edge and looks over at Dirk. "Are you  _still_  thinking about that silly dream?"

"It  _wasn't_  a dream," Dirk says firmly, but his expression changes as he eyes the plate in Jake's hands.

"Yes, well, dream or no, you must be starving," Jake says, handing Dirk the plate. "After this, you have to take some medicine, so make sure you eat all of...it..."

He trails off because Dirk  _is_  eating all of it. He's  _ravenously_  eating all of it, barely using his fork. Dirk is getting syrup all over his face in his attempts to eat faster, tries to shove more food in his mouth even when his mouth is already full. Jake has never seen anything like it. Well. Not from a human, at least.

"Howy fuchhh," Dirk grunts, still chewing. He swallows and looks at Jake, an almost emotional expression on his face. "That's so fucking  _good_."

"Gramma's french toast is the best," Jake says dumbly, watching as Dirk licks the plate. It isn't until Dirk is completely finished, sucking the syrup off his own fingers that he freezes and seems to realize what he just did.

"I—shit, I must have been starving to death or something," Dirk frowns. "As soon as I saw the food, my brain just shut off."

"It's no surprise to me," Jake shrugs, hoping he seems nonchalant. "I was the one doing most of the eating last night. You hardly ate a thing."

Dirk studies him. "You're the reason I know something about all of this isn't honest," he says in an accusing voice. "I can always tell when you're bullshitting me."

"Why would I lie to you about a nonsensical wolf attack?" Jake huffs, starting to get defensive.

"Hell if I know," Dirk says. "That's why it's fucked up."

The day drags on slowly, and Dirk seems to be refusing to sleep. He drinks the potion Jade gives him, thinking it's only medicine, and it seems to be on the verge of making him pass out at last, but then Dave stops by to bring him some clothes, and destroys the slight chance.

"You look like shit," Dave informs his brother, standing near the bed as he drops the bag of Dirk's things on the floor. "Like complete and total shit, little brother, is how you look."

"Thanks," Dirk says stiffly. "It means a lot."

"So you have what English had?" Dave asks, looking to Jake, who is sitting on the bed with Dirk. "Must've been one hell of a cold, since I can't remember the last time Dirk got sick."

"It was the flu," Jake says. "And it's pretty contagious. You might not want to get too close."

"Yeah, I already figured the cause was gettin' too close," Dave smirks. "It's no wonder Dirk got it then, since you two are  _always_  close like this. Real close."

"You've made your point, Dave!" Dirk hisses, looking flushed. Jake feels awful for him. His fever is still high enough to make his face red.

"So you're gonna play nurse all weekend, Jake?" Dave asks, ignoring his brother.

"Um. I suppose?" Jake says uncertainly, looking at Dirk.

Dave smiles. "Good. That'll perk my baby bro right the fuck up."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Dirk snaps, glaring at him. "In case you haven't noticed, I feel like shit and now isn't the time."

"Yeah, yeah, I just came to visit. Make sure you aren't dyin'." Dave looks over at Jake and winks. "I brought him some more pants so make sure you don't get  _those_  dirty too."

Dirk throws a pillow at him, but Dave leaves the room before it can hit him, presumably going to the kitchen to converse with Jade.

Dirk finally sleeps, fitfully, and Jake places a damp cloth on his forehead, petting his sweaty hair. He can tell Dirk feels awful, and he wishes there was more he could do to help, but this fever means there really isn't anything that  _can_  be done. Dirk's body is fuming to the touch, boiling with the changes happening inside of him. Jake curls beside him and easily joins him in sleep, waking up hours later to his grandmother standing over him, shaking him gently, saying dinner is ready. Jake blushes because Dirk has once again cuddled him up, and Dirk whines when Jake untangles himself.

The weekend passes slowly, and by Monday, Dirk's fever is down, but he still doesn't feel great. Jake wishes he could stay home another day, but Dirk won't hear of it. His advanced classes need too much attention, and it's only on their walk to school that Jake suddenly remembers he didn't do any of his homework.

Halloween night is spent at Roxy's this year, and Jake makes himself comfy on the couch between Dirk and Roxy, eating a slice of pizza. They start with the more silly Halloween movies, waiting until nightfall to play anything too scary, and Jake already has his choice ready to go when Roxy's pick ends, the credits scrolling down the screen.

"At last!" Jake says triumphantly, hopping off the couch. "It's my turn! And I  _do_  believe the sun has set!" His friends are all giving him indulgent grins, even Dirk, though Dirk's mouth is still full of pizza. His appetite increase has only been getting worse, and Jake takes the moment to notice Dirk has eaten one pizza entirely by himself.

"What masterpiece of bullshit do you have for us this time, Jakey?" Roxy asks, stretching her arms above her head.

" _Not_  bullshit!" Jake huffs. "I've brought us  _The Descent_  and you're all going to be terrified!"

"Isn't that the cave movie?" Jane asks. "I've never actually seen it, but I remember it being in theaters like... _years_  ago."

"It's been out forever," Dirk says, giving Jake a crooked grin. They'd gotten Dave to rent it for them when they were younger, and had both refused to admit they were scared. They managed to watch it all the way through, and they were feeling proud of themselves, but then Dave had barged in the room and startled them. To this day, Jake says Dirk was the one who screamed, and Dirk says it was definitely Jake, but Dave says it was both of them, and that the whole thing was hilarious.

"Bring it on," Roxy says. "Mama loves her some scary movies."

Jake puts the movie on and turns off the lights, scurrying back between Dirk and Roxy. While the previews play, Roxy looks over at Dirk.

"Did you eat all of that sausage pizza by yourself?" she asks incredulously.

"Guess so," Dirk says. "I've been hungry pretty much nonstop lately."

"Well, you did just get over being sick," Jane interjects. "It's to be expected!"

"Maybe he's pregnant," Roxy grins. "Does that make Jake the father?"

Jake feels his face heating up and is  _very_  grateful the lights are off, and Dirk tosses a pepperoni from one of the other pizzas at Roxy's face, making her squawk indignantly and jump over Jake to swat at him.

Jake enjoys Roxy and Jane's reactions at the scary parts of the movie, and he's feeling very accomplished when the film reaches its end. They watch Jane's pick next, which is one of the original _Halloween_  movies, and Jake notices Dirk has now started eating one of the  _other_  pizzas, and is nibbling the crust almost mindlessly.

The night passes by quickly, Roxy having to pause the movie at odd intervals at the sound of the doorbell so she can give candy to the trick-or-treaters. Jake tries to keep an eye on the time, because it's a school night, and his grandmother likes him to be home. It's in the middle of Dirk's terrifying puppet movie that Jake nods off, his body leaning against something perfectly warm and solid.

"Jakeyyyyy," Roxy coos later, poking at his face. "Your phone is ringing."

"Knock it off, Rox," Dirk's voice says. "I'm sure he can hear it."

Jake blinks awake and realizes he's tucked into Dirk's side, Dirk's arm around him. He hurries to sit up, stammering apologies as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

"Hello?" he asks.

" _Jacob English!"_ His grandmother's voice shouts in his ear. His blood runs cold. What time is it?!  _"It's midnight, young man! Where are you?"_

"I—still at Roxy's! I fell asleep, I'm sorry!" he says, already standing on his feet. His friends look amused at his expense, which is nothing new.

" _Asleep? You should have come home if you were tired! You know I don't mind where you go on weekends, but it's a school night! Come home this instant!"_

"Yes, ma'am, I'm coming!" He waves to his friends as he stumbles into his shoes, jogging out of Roxy's house and onto the sidewalk. She hangs up and he wonders if she's going to ground him. She never grounds him for long, mainly because she forgets she's grounded him. Sometimes he casually reminds her, and she triumphantly reinforces her punishments, but most of the time he lets her forget so he can still go to his friend's houses.

As he's walking home, he freezes when he hears footsteps behind him. He does  _not_ need another werewolf attack in his life right now—but then he remembers it's not a full moon night, and while Halloween night  _is_  the one night a year the veil between both worlds is the thinnest, it's also the least likely time for an otherworldly visit. Most of the creatures of Derse think it's too cliché to come to the human realm on the actual night of Halloween. They like to wait for lesser anticipated nights, aside from werewolves, who only  _can_  attack on the same nights every month.

It turns out to not be any sort of magical creature. Dirk is running towards him, holding Jake's movies.

"You forgot these," he says, handing them to Jake, who cradles them.

"Oh, thank you! Roxy would have undoubtedly stolen them for a few months." Jake starts to turn to head back home, and is surprised when Dirk walks with him. "Dirk, you know how Gramma is about school nights. She won't like you staying tonight."

"Yeah, but—" Dirk starts, fidgeting a little. He looks closely at Jake, like he wants to say something but is also trying very hard not to. "I should at least make sure you get home okay. I mean, there could be another wolf attack."

"Oh, Dirk, are you  _still_  on about that?" Jake asks, sighing a bit.

"Shut up and walk," Dirk says, pushing him forward.

They reach Jake's house, and his grandmother is standing on the porch with her arms crossed, her foot tapping as she stares him down. He groans, knowing he's in for a lecture.

"You go right up to your room and sleep! I'm waking you up earlier tomorrow just to teach you a lesson!" She looks at Dirk, who is still right behind Jake. "And Dirk—" Her eyes soften at the sight of him, and she pinches his cheek affectionately. "You can just stay here tonight. It's too late to send you walking home."

Jake throws his hands up. "I get chewed up and spat out, and he gets a welcome home parade! Well, this is just fair and  _bully_. A fine day at the English household, for sure!"

"Dirk doesn't live by my rules," Jade says simply, pointing at Jake in warning. "Now go wash up and go to bed!"

He does, and he grumbles the entire way upstairs. When he emerges from the bathroom, freshly washed, he finds Dirk on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

"Jane and Roxy say goodnight," he says without looking up.

"Yes, well, goodnight to them as well." Jake falls into bed beside him, exhausted. He pulls the covers up and listens as Dirk shuffles around, the blankets pulling on the other side of the bed as Dirk slides under them. Dirk sighs deeply and rolls towards Jake, spooning behind him, and Jake feels his heart stop. "Dirk...wha—?"

"It's weird," Dirk says quietly, his voice vibrating against the back of Jake's neck. "I haven't been able to sleep the last two nights. It's like I only can when I'm here."

Jake wants to ask what he means, but he falls silent, trying and failing to calm his steadily thumping heart.

The days pass in a blur, and every night Dirk wants to stay with Jake. Dirk can never articulate his reasons, and Jake's grandmother never asks him to, is just oddly indulgent in letting Dirk practically live with them. They've spent so much of their lives joined at the hip, but Jake can't remember a time Dirk was ever  _this_  willing to be around him constantly. When he asks his grandmother, she just smiles at him in a knowing way and doesn't comment, and Jake is starting to wonder if it isn't because of the bite Dirk received weeks ago.

Dirk and Dave spend Thanksgiving with the Englishes as always, but this year Dirk manages to eat at least half of everything by himself. Dave spends the majority of the night in slack-jawed awe of his little brother's new eating ability, and Jade and Jake try and offer subject changes that Dave doesn't seem to want to latch to. By the end of the night, all of them are too full to move, aside from Dirk, who is, of course, finishing off a pumpkin pie and holding it out of reach from Dave, who somehow wants to force himself to eat more before Dirk finishes it all. Dave ends up crashing on their couch and Dirk makes his way to Jake's bed, shamelessly cuddling with Jake, same as he's done every night this month.

When the next full moon draws near, Jake waits with nervous trepidation to see what will happen. He's been careful to keep track of the moon's cycle, and it's falling this Wednesday night. He's already told Dirk to plan to stay with him that night, much like every night this past month, and his grandmother has assured him that everything will be fine, thought she doesn't seem very sure herself.

Wednesday finds Dirk trailing after Jake, complaining about his chemistry class, saying he didn't get the bonus points on his exam even though he  _clearly_  deserved them, because his teacher marked him off for penmanship. Jake withholds a comment saying Dirk's  _does_  have poor penmanship, because Dirk tends to write too fast in order to articulate his rapidly firing brain more quickly. Besides, Dirk already got a perfect score on the test he's complaining about; he only lost five bonus points for his sloppy handwriting, but of course, Dirk is outraged as if these five points are worth much more. It's part of the stubborn huffiness that Jake loves about him, even if it is considered a flaw.

When they reach the house, Jake breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of his grandmother, working away at the kitchen table on one of her various inventions. She looks up at them and winks at Jake's worried expression, telling him silently not to worry so much, and he can't help but be comforted, at least a tiny bit. Jade knows what she's doing. She always does! Even if he's completely lost on what's going to happen tonight, he knows they're in the most capable of hands.

"How was school, boys?" she asks, lifting an oil covered hand to wipe at her forehead. Somehow she doesn't get the oil on her face, and Jake wonders if it isn't from years of practice.

"Ugh," Dirk says.

"Ah," Jade grins. "I'm guessing it wasn't great?"

And Dirk goes off again about his chemistry teacher, ranting and raving the entire conversation word for word. Jake shakes his head and moves to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water for himself and a can of orange soda for Dirk. He tosses the can at his ranting friend, who swipes for it, catching it easily while continuing on with his tirade.

"I've never met a decent scientist who had nice handwriting," Jade says after Dirk pauses to take a breath. "Did the teacher give you the extra points after you explained all of this to them?"

Dirk scoffs. "She gave me  _three_  of them. Like the other two were coveted for only the students with  _perfect_  calligraphy to match their equations. Can you even believe that? That's like telling a film-maker, 'oh yeah your movie was perfect and we'd give you the Oscar but you used ugly actors so we can't'. Guess that explains Leonardo DiCaprio though."

"Leonardo DiCaprio is  _extremely_  good-looking!" Jake defends from his spot by the fridge. "I get rather nettled when people say he isn't as handsome as he was in  _Titanic._  People age! And he's aged quite well! He deserves an Oscar more than any other actor, and I'll fight whoever says otherwise!"

A long pause follows his emphatic speech, and then Jade turns back to Dirk.

"Aside from Jake's...concerning devotions to middle-aged men-"

" _Gramma!"_

"-I'd say three out of the five is well enough. You won the battle, Dirk. Try not to make the poor woman's job  _too_  much of a living hell this year."

"Why couldn't  _you_  just be the chemistry teacher?" Dirk asks her. "You know more about— _everything_  than anyone I've ever met. You could do it with no problems."

"I'm too old!" Jade laughs, but she looks entirely pleased.

"Oh, hush, you are not," Jake says, turning to put the rest of the water into the fridge.

"I'm sure Jake would rather us hire Mr. DiCaprio to play a teacher for the remainder of the school year than to have me set foot in a classroom," Jade says, grinning at Dirk.

"Well, perhaps I would!" Jake hisses. "At least I would appreciate him!" He totes his backpack into the living room, letting it fall into the floor with a loud thud as he settles on the couch, digging out his homework. He despises chapter reviews more than anything on the planet and he has  _two_ of them to finish.

"Scoot," Dirk says, moving to his side. He drops on the couch and yawns widely, reaching for the remote. He flips the channel to a "How-it's-Made" type program, and Jake works on his reviews with the pleasant droll of the boring show playing in the background. By the time he finishes, he's almost forgotten about his woes for the evening. He looks over to see Dirk is curled up, asleep against the arm of the couch, and Jake carefully pulls his bag towards himself, placing his books and his completed work inside before he leaves to put his bag in his room. When he comes back downstairs he goes into the kitchen, and his grandmother looks back up at him.

"Any changes?" she asks.

"Changes?" Jake repeats dimly.

"It's a full moon, Jakey," Jade frowns. "And if my clocks are right, the moon should be out right about now."

Before she even finishes her sentence, Jake swallows a curse and runs back to the couch, but it's too late. Dirk isn't there anymore. Or he  _is_  there, but...not the Dirk he was expecting to find.

"I—um...  _Gramma!_ " Jake yells uncertainly, and Jade rushes into the room. She freezes, her hands moving over her mouth as her eyes go wide behind her glasses.

"My word," she utters almost silently. "I've never seen anything like it!"

In Dirk's place is a large, orange,  _extremely_  fluffy fox. The fox is fast asleep, curled into a ball on the couch, its large tail swaying slightly as it twitches from its dream. Dirk's clothes are wrapped around the fox's legs, and his sunglasses have fallen off, into the floor. Jake leans down to scoop them up and place them on the table, eyes still trained on the fox.

"Is...is that  _Dirk_?" he asks, and he looks back towards his grandmother, who is looking positively  _giddy_.

"Yes, Jake! Oh, he's so  _precious!_ "

"Gramma! This— _how_  did this happen?! He was bitten by a wolf, not a fox!"

"I told you there was no way to know how the potion would affect him! It took away all of aggression of the transformation, and...from the looks of it, turned him into a more docile creature." She kneels in front of the couch and pets Dirk's fuzzy head, smiling as the fox emits a tiny squeak.

Jake's head is swimming as he observes all of this. Dirk is a fox.  _Dirk_  is a fox. Dirk is a  _fox._ The guy he's known his entire life and is very much in love with is a  _fox_. He knew tonight wasn't going to be  _easy_ , but actually seeing this, knowing it's real, knowing it's going to  _be_  real every month for the rest of their lives—

"Jakey, come here," Jade says quietly, noticing him. She motions to him until he moves close enough for her to grab his wrist, and she gently pulls him down, pulling his hand towards the orange fur. He gasps when he touches it, his hand sinking into the incredibly soft fur. Dirk squeaks again, definitely seeming to enjoy all the attention. Jake and Jade both pause when Dirk's eyes open to look at them.

"Dirk, I'm going to need you to listen to me, alright?" Jade says softly. "We have a lot to tell you, but you must  _promise_  to try and keep a level head."

Dirk blinks, and opens his mouth and—a tiny yip comes out. He blinks again, sitting up and confusedly looking at them before he looks down and sees his body, his eyes settling on his tail. He moves it around, whacking Jake on the arm with it. He stays still another few moments.

And then he freaks out.

"Gramma, what do we do?!" Jake yells over Dirk's yips of terror, the orange fox flying around the room in what seems to be a very confused tantrum.

"We probably should've planned this better..." Jade muses, watching Dirk lose his foxy mind. "In all honesty, I was expecting an episode, but I wasn't planning on him being a fox."

"Why does that matter!" Jake exclaims.

"Because I was planning on explaining being a wolf to him, not a fox! Foxes are different animals!"

"I  _know_  that, but either way, explaining to him he was going to be an  _animal_  every month would have probably been nice beforehand!"

"Ah, yes. I see your point."

They stop talking when the noise dies down, and they turn to see Dirk on his back, his paws in the air as he pants from all the energy he's used. He turns to look at them, his tongue sticking out, and Jake can't help but grin.

"Awww. He really is kind of cute—"

And then Dirk lunges at him.

"Dirk, really, we didn't know it was going to be like  _this!_ " Jade tries to explain while she rushes to catch Dirk around the abdomen, stopping him from pouncing on Jake. "We would have told you, but—well, how could we?! I assumed you wouldn't believe it until you saw it!"

"Why are you attacking  _me?!_ " Jake squawks, batting the fox away as his jaws snap at him. "I didn't turn you into a fox!"

"Ah, I think he's upset about us pretending the wolf attack never happened," Jade says thoughtfully. She sets Dirk on the couch cushions, and Dirk settles there, his eyes narrowed at Jake.

"Gramma, he's glaring at me!"

"He's upset!" Jade says, petting the fox lovingly. "You'll turn back to normal in the morning, dear. And then you can yell at us all you like. But for tonight you need to stay here, even if you're angry with us. There's an entire world out there that would love to get their hands on you, and trust me when I say you don't want that." She touches Dirk's fluffy tail until Dirk makes an irritated noise, and she lets it fall back onto the couch. "Jake, why don't you explain things to him? I need to finish up dinner."

"Don't leave me here with him!" Jake says, backing away. "He wants to kill me!"

"You're being dramatic, he's still Dirk!"

"Look at him!"

Dirk is glaring at Jake, his tail swaying angrily. Jake has no doubt Dirk is silently cursing him in a foxy language.

"Dirk, Jakey didn't tell you because we agreed it would be best not to. But you mustn't bite him, do you understand? Even if you're angry, you were bitten by a werewolf and the potion I gave you made you this way. If you were to bite Jake, there's no telling what would happen to him in a month. The potion might not work the same, and I know you'd be very upset if he ended up losing his mind every full moon."

Dirk makes another yipping noise, but doesn't let up on his angry gaze. Jade leaves the room, and Jake shuffles on his feet, feeling foolish for fearing such an adorable creature. But Dirk is that creature, and Dirk is upset with him, and last time he upset Dirk, they ended up bloodying each other's noses in a violent scrap. Of course, they were thirteen, but Jake still remembers it well. He sighs and moves to the other end of the couch, avoiding Dirk's eyes.

"I don't...exactly know where to begin." Jake fidgets and looks at his feet, trying to think of a way to word all of this. "If it was  _you_  in my shoes, you'd make it so  _easy_  because you always know what to say. But I'm horrible at it! So I'll just—I'll say that it was never my intention to keep you so awfully in the dark about certain things. It's not that I never wanted to tell you, it's that I really  _can't_. I'm not allowed to. I can only tell you now because you're not human anymore, but  _you_  won't be allowed to tell Roxy or Jane or even Dave. If you do, all of us will be in serious trouble."

Finally, he dares to look over at Dirk, who doesn't look angry anymore, just very confused.

"You  _were_  bitten by a werewolf the night of Roxy's party. You pushed me out of the way, and you were bitten instead of me. We were fortunate enough to be close to Gramma, and she was able to mend your wound and give you a potion that helped stave off the more...aggressive side-effects of the transformation. You would have turned into a mindless wolf like the one that bit you if we'd been even a few minutes further away." Jake swallows, horrified by the thought. "And werewolves, and vampires, and zombies, and...all of that stuff is very much real. They don't live alongside us or anything like that—I mean, I'm sure  _some_  do. You will, after all, but...almost all of them live in another dimension that's alongside ours, and sometimes they cross over for various reasons, but humans aren't really aware of it. Gramma is because she's a witch. And I am because I'm her grandson."

He decides he'll save the bigger part of that story for later, when Dirk can ask. He doesn't want to go into it himself without provocation.

"I'm awfully sorry to have kept all of this from you, but I hope you understand I had to. As for the werewolf attack—I  _could_  have told you, but I didn't, and I see now that I should have. I hope you aren't angry with me."

He looks at Dirk again, who seems to have mellowed out. He knows he'll be in for a Strider lecture later, but at least for now, Dirk can't talk. Jake scoots closer to him and lifts his hand.

"May I?" he asks with a grin, and Dirk makes another huffy noise, but allows Jake's hand to pet him. Dirk shivers and rubs against Jake's hand, his tongue emerging again as he nuzzles into Jake's side. Jake decides he likes Dirk better this way, because Dirk can't tell him off until morning, and Jake can say whatever he wants with no consequence! Well. No consequence for a  _while_.

"By the way...Dirk?"

Dirk opens his eyes and looks up at him.

"You  _do_  have awful penmanship."

Dirk growls and lunges for him again, and Jake runs to the kitchen into the safety of his grandmother's arms.


	3. The Car and The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I have received fan art! 
> 
> [This](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/post/129470727315/a-quick-sketch-for-your-amazing-story-petrichor) one from [itika331!](http://itika331.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And [this](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/post/129545653415/its-finally-done-3-it-looks-even-more) one from [kitkattz83!](http://kitkattz83.tumblr.com)
> 
> Limerance: The state of being infatuated with another person.

Even as a fox, Dirk still has an insatiable appetite, and he eats more of the meatloaf Jade cooks than any of them. At first Dirk is put off by not being able to eat with his hands, but he soon decides he's perfectly fine with shoving his face in a bowl, and Jake suspects it's because Dirk has realized he can get more food in his mouth that way. Dirk still sits at the table, and Jake has to get used to eating beside a giant fox, especially when Dirk's tail keeps hitting him.

"Can't you do something with this?!" Jake finally yelps after the fifth time of being blindsided by the fluffy missile. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were doing it on purpose!"

Dirk looks him straight in the eye and whacks him with his tail again, right in the face.

"No horseplay at my table!" Jade chastises, watching them fondly.

"It's technically fox play," Jake says. He goes back to his food and is outraged when Dirk's tail acquaints itself with his face again. "Dirk!"

Dirk is unbothered, of course, and he continues to shove his face in his bowl, halfway on top of the table as he tries to lick the bowl clean. When he emerges he looks very pleased with himself, looking at Jake's plate, and then at Jake himself, giving what can  _only_  be described as puppy eyes.

"Oh, you—you absolute  _pest!_ " Jake grumbles, shoving a dinner roll in Dirk's mouth. "Other people have to eat, too!"

"I'm surprised he's still eating that way," Jade muses aloud. "Normally once the body is accustomed to the changes, the increased appetite diminishes on its own."

"He probably isn't used to it yet," Jake replies, looking up at her. "It's only the first month." He looks back to Dirk and sputters in rage when he sees the fox licking the food off his plate.  _"Dirk!"_

"There's more food on the stove, darling," Jade tells him. "Get Dirk some more while you're at it, or I'm afraid he'll come for my plate next."

Jake goes to fetch seconds, and he can't help but smile as he notices Dirk's tail wagging enthusiastically. He finds it funny that Dirk is so much easier to read this way, even without being able to verbally communicate.

After dinner Jake helps his grandmother wash the dishes, and then he kisses her cheek before he climbs the stairs to his room, unsurprised when Dirk trots after him. Dirk's claws make a tiny "click-clack" noise on the floor when he walks, and it makes Jake laugh. Dirk tilts his head to the side in question, and Jake grins at him, not answering.

He showers, and when he emerges he finds Dirk pressed against the window, his tail sticking straight up. He looks back at Jake and nods to the window, yipping.

"What is it?" Jake asks, moving to his side. He's still toweling his hair, trying very hard not to drip any water on Dirk, though he doubts the fox would even notice. He doesn't see or hear anything outside aside from the usual trees swaying in the slight breeze, his grandmother's wind-chimes making musical symphonies as they dance around. He starts to ask what it is Dirk is referring to again but before he can, he hears a wolf howling dangerously close to the house. Another wolf answers, and Dirk's ears are twitching. Jake pets his head.

"Don't worry about that," Jake tells him. "It's a full moon and you aren't the only beast in town." He smiles when Dirk turns to glare at him. "I mean 'beast' in the best way possible, seeing as how you're not even a menacing wolf."

Dirk moves away from the window and hops onto the bed, bouncing around a bit before giving him another long stare.

"What is it  _now?_ " Jake asks from his computer desk.

Dirk whines and gives a slight bark, hopping again.

"I'll go to bed in a moment!" Jake says, waving him away. "I wanted to make sure the girls are inside tonight, especially if there are that many wolves wandering around."

Dirk makes another noise and jumps off the bed, coming to Jake's side and standing on his hind-legs, watching Jake type.

\--golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 21:13--

TG: whaaaaaaat whys the great jake english pestering me outta the blue

GT: I always pester you out of the blue!

TG: not for awhile you havent! been too busy with dirk right

TG: and by busy i mean busaaaaaaayy ;)

GT: ROXY.

He groans and looks over discreetly to see Dirk  _is_  reading all of this. Hurriedly he changes the subject.

GT: Youre home correct?

TG: why

TG: did you want me to come over and join your and di-stris little love boat

GT: NO!

GT: And we do NOT have a love boat! What even IS a love boat!

TG: its called the ss homo

GT: ACK!

GT: Roxy just answer my question!

TG: whao whoa

TG: *whoa

TG: im at janeys house cause her dad makes damn good food and my moms never home

GT: Youre staying the night there?

TG: well yeah since janeys boobs are just

TG: RIGHT THERE

TG: waitin to be slept on and defiled and squished

GT: Andbwedjwedwqdqwdkp.

Jake puts his head in his hands and takes a long moment to compose himself. He should have messaged Jane. He can hear Roxy messaging him over and over again but he doesn't lift his head until he's sure his face isn't red anymore. When he  _does_  read the messages it's all he can do not to scream.

TG: heh oh man youre so fun to mess with

TG: so have you talked to dirk about the BIG secret yet

TG: the secret of you being in you know what with him

TG: *nudges you the fuck over with these big wonking eyes*

Jake scrambles to respond before she can keep going.

GT: There is *nothing*to discuss roxy and i will see you tomorrow!

\--golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 21:25--

He turns his computer off and moves to his bed, flopping face-first into his pillow and willing himself to die before Dirk can ask what that was about. No such luck. Dirk hops beside him and gives him an imploring gaze.

"I do believe it's time for bed!" Jake says, pulling the covers over himself. Dirk makes a huffing noise and pulls his ears back, staring him down. Jake frantically tries to decide if he should tell Dirk the truth and get it over with, but he doesn't think it's the right time. He doesn't think it will  _ever_  be the right time. He rolls over and refuses to look at Dirk, closing his eyes and pretending to sleep until he actually falls into sweet unconsciousness.

He wakes up to a very human Dirk wrapped around him, Dirk's face buried in his hair. Jake grumbles and tries to free himself but, as always, Dirk has managed to tangle them together so tightly Jake knows he'll probably have to wake the clingy Strider to get anything done. He decides just to enjoy it until he remembers a key factor in all of this: Dirk is  _naked_.

His heart beats erratically as he feels the heat of Dirk's body pressed to his, Dirk's bare hips pressed right against his pajama-clad ass. Any moment now his alarm will go off and save him, right? Dirk will wake up and let go and they can forget this unusually intimate experience. He curses himself for forgetting Dirk would be naked when he turned back into a human! He was just so eager to escape the embarrassing topic Roxy's chat forced him into that he forgot everything! He  _has_  to make sure to remind himself of this next full moon before he gets himself into a worse situation than this one.

Carefully, he extracts himself from Dirk's clingy limbs. It isn't a hard process, considering Dirk is weakened from all the energy his transformation took. Jake gives him a sad look, reaching down to smooth his wild hair before he turns the alarm off, letting Dirk sleep a while longer until breakfast is ready.

"Good morning, Jakey," Jade hums from the stove, whipping up a stack of Jake's favorite pancakes. "Sleep well?"

"Yes. I had a fuzzy blanket with me, after all," Jake says, moving to her side to see if she needs any help.

"Heh, of course. Is Dirk still asleep?"

Jake nods. "I think the transformation took a lot out of him. He didn't budge when I woke up."

"The poor dear. Make a pot of coffee, would you? I'll slip some rejuvenating potion in there to perk him up for the day. It'll take him a while to get used to these drops in energy, but we can't expect him to have mastered it already. It's only the first night."

Jake starts the coffee and watches as his grandmother whips up a batch of her bright yellow potion, which she then slips into the coffee before finishing her pancakes. Jake climbs upstairs again and gently shakes Dirk, who whines and tries to bury himself in pillows.

"Dirk, come on now! Gramma's made pancakes! You have to wake up!" Jake tries, shaking him again. He yelps when Dirk's hand swipes for him and yanks him back onto the bed, where Dirk cuddles him shamelessly.

"Guhhh..." Dirk says.

"Enlightening," Jake huffs, trying to pry Dirk's limbs off him. "We're going to be late!"

"I don't care. Don't care about anything. Just leave me here to die, I'm cool with that."

"Oh, good grief, Strider! Now isn't the time for your dramatics!" Jake manages to squirm free again and grab hold of Dirk's feet, which he yanks until Dirk falls into the floor, wrapped in a pile of blankets. His head pops out and he glares up at Jake, looking so pitiful that Jake can't help but pet his hair.

"There! Now I believe a shower would do you some good! But you're going to have to hurry because you still have breakfast to eat, and I know how much you hate being late!"

"You don't know what I hate." Dirk grumbles, still glaring. "I hate you, mostly."

"Hogswallop!" Jake huffs. "Now go get in the shower!"

Jake leaves the room once Dirk growls and has to untangle himself from the mass of bedding, and he hops down the stairs, sitting at the table and stealing a cup of coffee while he diligently waits for Dirk before he eats. The rejuvenating potion perks him up too, and he's bouncing in his chair by the time Dirk emerges, not bright-eyed or bushy-tailed.

"Here, sweetie," Jade says, handing Dirk the coffee, who looks at it with a frown. "This will help."

"I'm so—ugh." Dirk manages before he literally chugs the hot coffee down, most likely burning his mouth horribly.

"There, there," Jake says, drenching his pancakes in syrup while his grandmother pours Dirk more coffee. "It'll get easier from here on out! Oooh, Gramma, these are delicious!"

"Thank you, Jakey!" Jade smiles. "And he's right, Dirk, the first time will be the worst. Drink more of that coffee! I've put something in there to help you."

"Is it crack?" Dirk asks, and he grins as Jake and Jade both laugh. "I mean, I'm cool with that if it is, long as it wakes me up."

"While crack probably  _would_  help for a short while, it's just a simple potion. Jake's already had a cup of it and that's why he can't seem to sit still and stop playing with his food." Jade gives her grandson a look, and Jake promptly shoves the forkful of pancakes into his mouth without another word.

They eat in silence for a while, each of them obviously lost in their own thoughts before Dirk speaks up again.

"Uh," Dirk tries, looking between them. "So. I was a fox last night."

Jade snickers into her hand and Jake nods sympathetically.

"We really should have told you sooner about that, Dirk," Jake says. "It's just that I didn't exactly know how, and I doubted you'd believe me!"

"Got no reason not to believe it now," Dirk hums, forking a sausage link into his mouth. "All those wolves we heard last night though...won't they attack other people?"

"You heard more of them?" Jade asks, giving them a concerned look.

"Yeah, there were about four of them," Dirk says. "I could hear them hanging around the neighborhood. Is—is that because of you two? Since you're...magic or something?"

"I'm not magic," Jake mutters petulantly, stabbing into a pancake.

"Yes, that might have something to do with it," Jade muses. "Things used to be a lot more active around here, but I'm too old to deal with wolves attacking the public." She sighs. "I do hope they aren't hanging around for the sole purpose of causing trouble."

"Why else would they be staying near?" Jake asks moodily, mopping up syrup, thinking still of the things he can't do to aide his grandmother. Jade looks at him with sadness in her features.

"Jakey..." she says softly. He finally looks up at her, but only after brooding a little longer. "Don't dwell on it."

"I know," Jake huffs, still upset. "I'm not trying to."

Jade hums absently and turns to Dirk, who is looking curiously between them, obviously trying to figure out what they're going on about.

"Of course you know not to tell anyone else about the things you saw," she says to him. "Any human you tell will be in danger. They're forbidden to know of Derse and its inhabitants."

"I won't get in trouble for knowing?" Dirk asks, finally taking his eyes off Jake.

"Of course not," Jade replies. "You aren't human anymore."

Dirk opens his mouth, shuts it again, and then stares at the table.

"She means to them, Dirk," Jake says hastily. "To Dersites, you aren't human anymore. Obviously you're still very much human, at least until the next full moon."

They leave the house a little earlier than Jake normally would. Dirk is a punctual fellow, and Jake wishes some of Dirk's punctuality would rub off on him, because Jake is  _always_  late. It's a perpetual problem he would love to get rid of.

As they're walking, Jake wraps his scarf tighter around his neck. It's a cold morning, and winter is steadily drawing closer, December just over the horizon. He's thinking about what to get his friends for their birthdays when Dirk speaks again.

"If you're that cold, we could always hitch a ride with Roxy."

"I prefer to walk," Jake says, thinking of Roxy's new car. Roxy's mother may be gone a lot, but she makes sure Roxy has everything she could ever want. Sometimes Roxy will still walk place to place in defiance, but most of the time, especially when it's cold out, Roxy will drive. She  _hates_  cold weather.

"Speaking of cars," Jake says suddenly, "have you still been fixing yours?"

Dirk bought a clunker of a car last year, hoping to fix it up. Dirk is an excellent mechanic, and he could probably have it going in no time at all if he would stop spending every waking moment with Jake, who knows nothing about cars and has no desire to learn.

"Eh, here and there," Dirk replies. "It still needs brake pads and drums, not to mention I gotta make sure the radiator isn't leaking. The engine starts though, so that's a major plus. Just have the kinks to work out."

"You know, you don't  _have_  to stay with me every night. You can go home and work on your things."

Dirk gives him a long stare.

"Do you not want me hanging around anymore?" Dirk's voice sounds more hollow than Jake's ever heard it.

"That's not what I mean at all!" Jake says frantically, stopping in his tracks and looking up at Dirk. "I just meant that I know you get bored with me! I can't keep up with your smart jargon! And—and if you hadn't been hanging around me, you wouldn't have gotten bitten! And now these wolves are staying put outside our house and I just—I want you to be okay, Dirk!"

Dirk grins at him and pulls him into a warm embrace, his hands rubbing soothing circles in Jake's back.

"Hey, stop that. You're working yourself into a tizzy. You know I don't care that you're not into my engineering stuff, that's what Jade is there for. And if I hadn't been there, you would've gotten bitten instead of me. I'm glad I was with you."

"I'm not. It should have been me."

"Shhh," Dirk says easily, still petting Jake's back. "It's not all bad. It's kinda cool being a fox. I wish I could be a talking fox, though. It's hard to get your point across when all you can do is make weird fox noises."

"Well," Jake finally says after a beat of silence, "at least we know what the fox says."

And when Dirk snorts with laughter, Jake knows things will be okay.

The day drags on slowly and Jake hates the fact that time only seems to come to a halt when he's in class. Lunch flies by, as usual, but as soon as he's back in the classroom, he decides Father Time must hate him and everything he stands for. By the time the dismissal bell rings, Jake is all but running from the building, and he doesn't have to look to know Dirk is right behind him.

"You wanna come by my place?" Dirk asks after he's caught up. "You did have a point earlier, y'know. I need to keep working on that car. If I can get the brakes fixed, I can at least drive it to your house."

"But I thought the radiator was bad?" Jake asks.

"Worst case scenario, the car overheats. I can just blast the heat and make it to your house no problem. It's not like you live far away," Dirk shrugs. "The radiator isn't bad, it just might have a hole in it. I'm still trying really hard to locate the damn thing, but it isn't easy since it could be head gasket. Or the water pump." He runs a hand through his hair, and Jake doesn't think he's ever wanted to kiss Dirk quite as badly before in his life. Something about Dirk talking about cars makes him even more irresistible.

"I'll come with you," Jake says, hurriedly turning around so Dirk can't see him blush from his own thoughts. "Just let me call Gramma."

After a quick phone call, he's trailing after Dirk to his house, which is in the opposite direction. Dirk lives in a nice brick house, and though it's not a big as Roxy's, it's still no secret Dirk and his brother are loaded. Dave is a screenplay writer, and he has plans to move to Hollywood after Dirk graduates high school. Their parents died when they were young, and Jake admires Dave a lot for putting his dreams on hold to make sure Dirk would have an almost normal life. Jake can still remember how poor the Strider brothers used to be. One of the reasons they even met is because Dave had a very important meeting to go to and had absolutely no one to watch Dirk. He happened to meet Jade, and the rest is history.

"Yo," Dirk calls when they're inside the house, shutting the door behind him. Jake bounds after him, careful to keep close. Dirk and Dave have this weird hobby of ambushing each other, and Jake almost has a heart attack every time it happens.

Surprisingly, Dave is sitting at the kitchen table, typing away on his computer, and Jake breathes a sigh of relief. If Dave is working, he'll be too occupied to cause any shenanigans.

"Sup," Dave says, lifting a hand in greeting.

"Deadline?" Dirk asks.

"The biggest. Make sure y'all keep it down."

"Can do, we're gonna be in the garage."

Jake waves to Dave before he follows Dirk into the garage, crossing his arms and hopping a little bit to keep himself warm. The garage isn't  _quite_  as cold as it is outside, but it's definitely chilly. Dirk simply raises an eyebrow at Jake's motions, grinning when Jake scowls at him.

"Shush! I am in no mood for your sass!" Jake huffs, still bouncing in place.

"Hang on a second," Dirk says, going back inside the house. When he comes out he tosses a coat at Jake, who eagerly puts it on over the one he's already wearing. Dirk is bigger than him, and usually it makes him angry, but at this moment, he's very happy because the coat is so warm and snuggly.

Jake finally manages to stop dancing for warmth and make his way to Dirk's side, who is popping the hood of the car, making a face as he examines the car parts, obviously seeing something wrong with the mess that Jake can't make heads or tails of.

"What are we looking for?" Jake asks, and Dirk nudges him with his hip.

"You're my assistant, so your job is to stand there and look pretty." Dirk hands Jake a flashlight. "Also you gotta hold this."

Jake squawks in indignation. "I think not! I will hold your stupid flashlight, but I want to help in other ways as well!"

"You hate car stuff," Dirk says simply, his head disappearing under the hood.

"Then why even bring me?" Jake mutters to himself, but Dirk either doesn't hear him or chooses not to answer.

After about an hour of watching Dirk tinker with the car, Jake's mind wanders and he waves the flashlight toward the wall, trying to perfect his shadow puppet hand technique. The sound of a throat clearing behind him has him whirling back to face Dirk, who is grinning at him fondly.

"Having fun?" Dirk asks.

Jake blushes and returns to Dirk's side, holding the light for him as directed.

"Fuck!" Dirk finally spits after a few minutes more of tinkering, the sudden exclamation making Jake jump.

"What is it?" Jake asks.

"I'm no closer to fixing it than when we first came in here!" Dirk growls, and Jake is surprised by how animal-like it sounds.

"Well—well you did say the brakes were more important, right?" Jake asks.

Dirk sighs. "Yeah. Yeah, they are more important right now. It's just if the car overheats, it could do more damage to the already damaged parts in there and cause even  _more_  work for me."

"No one said you had to move it to my house to begin with!" Jake says. "You shouldn't drive it until it's ready, you dunderhead!"

Dirk turns to frown at him quizzically.

"Driving it to your house would let me work on—"

"I  _know_  you need to work on the damned car more, Dirk! I've already told you I'd accompany you  _here_  to work on it, even if I don't see  _why_  you need me at all!"

"I just—!" Dirk starts before biting his words back, seemingly struggling with how to say what he means. "I don't know why I need you around so much either, okay? I just  _do_. Since the bite, I only feel safe if you're with me."

Jake stares at him. Dirk Strider has  _never_  said things like that to him. Dirk isn't the kind of person to say he relies on others for safety. Dirk takes care of himself, takes care of  _everything_  on his own. Jake has always known Dirk to be a control-freak, even when they were kids. It's part of Dirk's allure for Jake, because Jake hates making decisions, likes to follow Dirk's lead.

"I don't understand... I'm not exactly...protection from anything. I couldn't even stop the wolf from—"

"I don't mean it like that," Dirk interrupts. "I mean, when you're with me, I know  _you're_  safe. Otherwise I just—I worry. And it's gotten worse lately, probably because I  _knew_  something went down last month, even if you and Jade weren't telling me, and I mean, I had a feeling it was  _you_  that was in danger, so..."

Jake looks down at his feet, his mind whirling with everything Dirk is telling him. His heart hammers in his ears, and he  _knows_  his face is probably on fire. He finds himself nodding before either of them can say another word, and then he looks up into Dirk's inquisitive eyes.

"Then we'll just keep coming here after school until you've finished the car," Jake says simply, stepping around Dirk and to the door. "But we've got to go for tonight. I've got homework and Gramma hates me to be late for dinner."

He doesn't look back as he enters the house, and doesn't have to to know Dirk is right behind him. They pass through the kitchen and Dave looks up at them, grinning at his brother, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"You staying with Jake again?"

"Yes," Dirk says curtly, an edge to his voice.

"Seems a lot like you're moving in," Dave replies. "Most of your clothes are slowly making their way over there."

Dirk's eyes narrow and he starts to retort, but before he can, Jake intervenes.

"We love having him there! And we really can't stay, I'm afraid, Gramma has dinner cooking. Unless, of course,  _you_  want to tell her you were keeping us?"

Dave gives him a look and Jake grins. The Striders know all too well what an angry Jade can be like. He waves them away, going back to his laptop.

Dirk trails after Jake as they make their way outside. It's already getting dark, the sun low on the horizon and the sky painted with pink and purple hues. Jake cheerfully marches onwards, thinking about the homework he  _really_  doesn't want to do, when Dirk's voice invades his thoughts.

"Why're you being so cool about all this?"

"Huh?" Jake blinks in surprise, turning to face him.

"I mean about..." Dirk's cheeks seem a little redder than Jake's ever recalled seeing them. "About my sudden constant invasion of your personal space."

"Didn't you hear me just explain it to Dave?" Jake asks confusedly. "I like having you around, Dirk. I may not understand what you're feeling in this instant, but I  _do_  know I'd like to do whatever I can to make this entire thing...easier for you. If being around me and Gramma helps, then so be it!"

He turns back around and resumes walking, Dirk's footsteps soon falling into rhythm with his as they make their way back to Jake's house. The wind picks up a bit, and Jake looks up at the sky, a tiny speck of rain falling on his glasses. He makes an irritable noise, knowing it's much too cold for them to get caught in a rain storm. The last thing he needs is to get sick again.

They round the corner and Jake is thankful it's still only sprinkling, they heavy rain seeming to stay at bay. Dirk nudges Jake's shoulder and points ahead to Jake's house where a symphony of chiming is carrying over to them.

"Are those  _just_  wind-chimes? Or are they...y'know. Witchy things?"

Jake laughs, wiping the rain droplets from his glasses before answering.

"Some of them are wind-chimes. Do you see that big one in the back? The one shaped like the solar system?"

"Yeah. How come it's completely still? It's so stormy out here," Dirk says.

"It only chimes when there are dark spirits around. The last time it made a noise was when those wolves were outside."

Dirk's eyes are wide as he takes in what Jake said, no doubt thinking of the laws of physics and whatnot in his head. Dirk is a  _very_  scientific person, and Jake is actually surprised Dirk has handled all of this magic talk as well as he has been.

"Guess I never noticed them before," Dirk finally says.

"Most people don't," Jake replies. "Most of us aren't trained to stop and look around at every little thing, especially when we're busy. Gramma has always taught me that it's important to look around every now and then and take in the world around us, because there are always ways to detect oncoming incidents if you listen vigilantly. I'm still not very observant, but I like to think I'm getting better."

Dirk turns to look at him, an inquisitive expression on his face.

"There's this whole part of your life that I don't know anything about. I mean, I always thought I knew you pretty well before, but now I'm not really sure anymore."

Jake is alarmed by the sadness in Dirk's voice, but before he can answer, his grandmother is out on the porch, waving to them.

" _There_  you are! I was about to call! It's supposed to storm the rest of the night!" she calls, and Dirk and Jake hurry to her. Conveniently, it starts pouring rain the second they make it to the safety of the porch.

Jake thinks of what Dirk said to him, playing the words over and over in his mind as Dirk tells Jade about his car, Jade nodding and offering little tips and pointers as they eat dinner together. Dirk has been upset about Jake keeping things from him, about being left out of Jake's life. Jake thinks of how he'd feel upon learning Dirk had kept such great secrets from him and he fidgets in his chair, knowing he'd be miserable.

He lingers downstairs after dinner, cleaning up the already clean kitchen as his grandmother waters her houseplants. Dirk goes upstairs to take a shower, and Jake is so focused on his thoughts he jumps when his grandmother speaks.

"You know," she says, "there's no shame in opening up a bit."

"I know that," Jake grumbles.

"Based on how you were acting at breakfast this morning, I don't think you do."

Jake turns to frown at her, and she sets the watering can down, moving to his side. She cups his face in her weathered hands, and he leans into them in spite of himself, falling prey to her comforts.

"Jakey," she coos. "Why don't you talk to him a little bit? He's been so upset about all of this and I can tell it's driving him batty."

"He has been a little weird..." Jake relents. "Why is he so insistent on staying here all the time now? Do you know?"

"I had my suspicions," Jade grins, an ominous sign. "And after last night, I think I know for sure."

Jake blinks at her, confused, but she just waves him towards the stairs.

He changes into his pajamas, deciding to shower in the morning, and gets into bed, his mind buzzing to the point he knows sleep will be impossible. He looks up when Dirk emerges, freshly showered and drying his hair.

"Thought you'd be asleep already," Dirk says, flopping beside Jake in bed.

"Not all that tired," Jake says, sitting up.

The sit in silence for a few moments, the only sound in the room the rain still pouring outside, the occasional claps of thunder. Jake plays with a thread in his comforter before he sighs softly, glancing at Dirk.

"My mom was the witch," he says.

"Huh?" Dirk asks.

"My mom. It's usually passed down by bloodlines, you know? My grandmother got it from her dad, and then her daughter was my mom, so my mom was the witch. But my parents were...kind of awful, I guess? I'm sure you gathered that, since I never talk about them."

Dirk nods, his brows furrowed. "I didn't wanna ask about them and push you."

"I know. And thank you for that. I don't like to talk about them."

"You don't have to now," Dirk says.

"I do." Jake looks at Dirk before he stares at a thread on his comforter instead, picking at it to occupy himself. "I don't...don't want you to think you're being left out of my life. Not when you're such an important part of it."

The wind howls outside and Jake is grateful to it because it covers the sound of his own pounding heart.

"I am?" Dirk asks quietly.

"Of course you are. You—you're the person I trust most in the world."

Dirk doesn't respond, but his eyes are bright and beautiful, and Jake hurriedly looks away from them again before he does something stupid.

"I think they only had me for about two years. My parents, I mean. I don't remember much about them aside from them never really being around. Gramma says they were just a pair of children who had a child, and that's why she adopted me."

Dirk remains silent, and Jake plays with the loose thread, wrapping it around his finger till it turns red. Dirk's hand catches his and makes him drop it, their fingers threading together, and then Jake squeezes those instead.

"They died in a car crash, but you already knew that part. Icy roads at night. There's millions of stories like it."

Dirk nods, his eyes burning a hole in Jake's. Dirk and Dave's parents died in a car crash too, but not from icy roads or anything other than Dirk's father's drunk driving. They took another driver out along with them and left all their bills, and their youngest son, for Dave to inherit.

"I'm sure you can guess why that story is a little strange now," Jake says softly.

"Your mom should have been able to save them. Since she was a witch," Dirk says, and Jake nods. "Why couldn't she?"

"My mother lost her abilities. We—our family was gifted these abilities ages ago. The magic was passed down every generation. It wasn't for nothing though; there was a  _purpose_ for it. To help control occurrences between humans and the population of Derse. There are upsides, of course, but mostly the magic was used to stop incidents between Dersites and humans, like Gramma did for you by getting rid of the wolf."

"I don't get it," Dirk says after a few more beats of silence. "She lost her magic because she didn't do her job?"

"Well, yes, that and she used her magic for personal gain. She bewitched my father to love her. That's a taboo among all magic users. As punishment, she lost her powers, and everyone of us that comes after her is doomed to also be powerless."

"So you...you won't ever be able to use magic either?" Dirk asks.

"No. Gramma is the last of us that can."

"But...if she lost her powers, why'd your dad stay with her? He didn't really love her, right?"

"She got pregnant with me. So he stayed with her just for that. When they lost me to Gramma, I think they were well on their way to divorcing. Sometimes I...I wonder if the car accident was really an accident, or if my mom did something stupid to keep him with her. She wasn't very...balanced, you see."

Tree branches scrape along the edge of the house in the howling storm outside, and Jake finally looks away from Dirk to look out the window. Rain is pouring from the sky, the trees swaying to and fro, and Jake is very glad to be in here with Dirk, safe and dry from the elements. Dirk's hand is still holding his, and when he looks back to Dirk, their eyes lock.

"I've tried, of course," Jake murmurs. "I've studied under Gramma my entire life. I've read the books, learned some of the spells. I can't produce anything, but I at least keep up with the knowledge. Once Gramma passes, I'm sure another will be gifted with her magic, so the humans here can be protected still from wayward Dersites."

"Are there a lot of other magic users?" Dirk inquires.

"Not as many as you'd think. There are a few portals from Derse in other cities around the world, but probably only about a handful. We just live near one."

"Where's it at?"

"In the woods. You wouldn't be able to see it though. I've only seen it once, and that was when I went on a trip with Gramma. She was meeting with the queen of Derse to let her know which Dersites were repeat offenders in human attacks."

"Queen of Derse? Is she...y'know. Good?"

Jake laughs. "She's not really good or evil. She's just an authority figure and I think she likes punishing criminals. Derse isn't like here, of course, and I think most Dersites think light of the things we would consider crimes, but they do have their laws, one of the most important being not to interfere with the human world. It's mostly weak demons that wreak havoc here though, since they can't really do much damage in Derse."

Dirk opens his mouth to say something else, but Jade bursts into the room, her eyes narrowing at Dirk and Jake as they jump apart, both of them startled by her sudden presence.

"Keep this door open," Jade says primly, and Jake's face floods with color at the insinuation. "And also, it's time for bed!"

She walks back downstairs, and Jake gets out of bed with a huff, turning off the light before padding back to bed. He settles in next to Dirk, and the two of them watch the lightning outside light up the room.

"Thanks for telling me all that. You didn't have to," Dirk says, and Jake looks over at him.

"I know, but I wanted to. Thank you for including me in your car repairs, even though I don't have the foggiest idea of what you're doing or what you expect me to help you with."

"I like you being there, that's all," Dirk says.

Jake swallows but the lump in his throat makes it a little tricky. In all their recent cuddling, Dirk has been the instigator, but tonight, Jake is the one who rolls closer, tucking his face in Dirk's neck and wrapping an arm across Dirk's chest. Dirk makes a soft noise, and Jake sighs when Dirk's hand settles on his hip.

Jake's almost asleep when Dirk speaks again.

"Didn't you have a math test to study for tomorrow?"

Jake shoots upwards and scrambles for his backpack, cursing Dirk the entire time for letting him forget.


	4. The Teacher and The Sleuth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is no longer a "Halloween" project, and is now just "a project" which I have coined, "THE project" so it sounds more important. Sorry about that, but October turned out to be a very busy month! This update is a little shorter than the others, but I hope you will still enjoy it. :)
> 
> [Here's](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/post/130759687330/i-love-petrichor-3-sorry-this-is-in-black-and) some BEAUTIFUL fan art from [etoileluna1305](http://etoileluna1305.tumblr.com/)! Thank you guys so much for these pictures, they keep me motivated!
> 
> Ephemeral: Lasting for a very short time.

The end of November brings with it another cold front, followed by more rain that quickly turns into snow. It seems colder this year than normal, or maybe Jake is just weak when it comes to ice and frost. He tells himself the fall was well worth it, all those beautiful colors and scents, and soon enough it will be spring. He just has to be patient.

He and Dirk get together with Roxy to discuss birthday plans. They usually all celebrate together, since all their birthdays are lumped into one week. Jake has no idea what to get either of them, and really, he has no money to get them anything even if he  _did_  have an idea. He relies on Jade for everything, and he's often told her he'd like to get a part-time job to earn money, but she won't hear of it. She wants him to focus on school at least until graduation, she says. She doesn't want him to work until college. Jake runs this through his head as he walks home after school, his boots crunching in the newly fallen snow, Dirk, for once, not at his side.

Jake told Dirk he needed a day to shop  _without_  Dirk's prying eyes. Dirk looked a little miffed, but agreed, and he gave Jake a forlorn look as he walked towards his own house in the opposite direction when they parted ways. Jake is still struggling with  _why_  Dirk is so keen to follow him everywhere, and Jade still won't share her theory with him. He does wonder, sometimes, whether it has to do with fox mating habits, and then he tells himself not to get his hopes up, because that's probably not it at all.

When he walks into his house he's instantly assaulted with the scent of baked goods and the heat from the fireplace. He shivers and immediately bounds to it, standing in front of it and rubbing his hands together.

"Jakey?" His grandmother pops her head into the living room, then smiles at him warmly. "I thought I heard your teeth chattering." She looks around. "Dirk isn't here?"

"Not today! I told him I needed a day to myself for shopping. I've got to make my way to the mall soon but I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me?" He can't quite conceal the hopefulness in his voice. While he told Dirk he wanted to go alone, he actually  _hates_  going anywhere alone. His grandmother gives him a knowing smile.

"That sounds fun. I've got to wait until this cake is done, though." She walks to him and kisses his forehead before pinching his cheek, a wistful look in her eyes. "I can't believe you're eighteen... Just yesterday you and Dirk were both in diapers!"

" _Gramma,"_ Jake says, not wanting her to upset herself again. Just the day before she got emotional over Jake's baby pictures.

"I can get sentimental if I want to!" she says huffily before she hurries back into the kitchen. Jake sighs and continues warming up before trailing after her, knowing she wants to spend time with him.

He puts up with an hour of taste testing the cake, helping her frost it, cheek pinches and wet, tearful kisses before they're on their way to the mall, Jake driving and Jade in the passenger seat. The mall is packed, of course, people trying to get all their Christmas shopping done, and Jake is very grateful he didn't come alone, knowing he'd feel pressured and hurried if he didn't have someone with him.

Roxy is fairly simple to buy for. He'd like very much to get her the new video game that just came out for her PS4, but he won't ask his grandmother to pay all that money. Instead, he picks her out a gaudy Christmas sweater with cats on it, knowing Roxy has a weakness for all things cat related and ugly sweater related. He picks up some cat toys for her cat Jaspers while he's at it. Roxy doesn't like receiving gifts without her cat getting a present, too. It's just how she's always been.

Dirk is the hard one to buy for. He and his grandmother both look from shelf to shelf in every store, wondering what on earth to get him. This birthday feels more important than most for some reason, probably because it's their eighteenth, but also for reasons Jake can't put into words. He wants to get Dirk something that conveys his feelings, but also isn't extremely obvious about it.

"How about car parts?" Jade asks. "He definitely needs those."

"No, those are practical. I want to get him something he doesn't need, but will want," Jake replies. "It's just that I can't think of what that entails."

"Well, I know for a fact Dirk Strider is also a huge fan of hideous clothing. We can get him a sweater, too."

Jake makes a face, and Jade holds her hands up in surrender.

Another hour passes of them walking aimlessly through the mall, and Jake finally has to call it quits. He picks out a vinyl record he knows Dirk wants, because Dirk is one of those "No, man, CD's can't even  _compare_  to vinyl, holy fuck" kinds of people, and then, while he's waiting in line to pay, he has an idea. A very cheesy idea, but one that sends exactly the kind of message he's hoping to send.

The next day is Jake's birthday, and it's also Saturday. He's woken up to his grandmother barging into his room, causing a racket with party poppers and more tears, and then he gets to eat a slice of cake with breakfast. Sure enough less than an hour passes before knocks on their door signal his friend's arrival, and he hurries to let them in. It looks like Roxy drove them all over in her car, none of them looking pink or cold from walking. He accepts a hug from Jane and Roxy, and then a quick embrace from Dirk, who doesn't linger when other people are around, though he does seem to stay closer to Jake's side than normal when they part.

They go to the living room to exchange gifts. It's technically only Jake's birthday, but he always feels awkward when they focus on only him, and it's become a tradition for them to give each other their presents at the same time.

"Oh, Jakey! It's hideous!" Roxy squeals delightedly when she opens her sweater. She immediately pulls it on and twirls around, showing it to Jane, who merely shakes her head, a forced sour look on her face. Roxy puts the treats for Jaspers in her purse and then tosses Jake a lumpy present. It's always amazed him that as smart as Roxy is, she can't wrap anything in paper without making it look like a disaster.

Roxy got him a bunch of movies she tossed into a box, little bits of newspaper placed inside here and there as if she was hoping that would help make the present look more presentable. Jake laughs at her efforts but is happy to go through the box, seeing plenty of movies he hasn't even heard of. He'll be sure to check them out later, probably with Dirk.

Dirk got Roxy a video game, and Roxy got Dirk a box-set of some obscure anime he's been wanting. Jane got them each a box of her homemade fudge (no nuts in Jake's, of course) and tells them, as she does every year, that they'll get their  _real_  gifts for Christmas, which is only a few weeks away.

Dirk opens his record from Jake and grins, his eyes wider than normal, and Jake smiles at the fact he knows Dirk so well he doesn't even need Dirk to say he loves it.

Finally, Jake starts to open the large present from Dirk, which is meticulously wrapped as usual. Inside are a number of rolled up posters, each from his favorite movies, such as  _Indiana Jones_ , and a vast array of Bill Murray movies. He can't help himself from excitedly hugging Dirk around the neck!

"Are you even gonna have room for those new ones, Jakey?" Roxy asks, examining some of the posters. "Your walls are already covered."

"I may have to take down a few..." Jake muses. "I suppose I don't like as many of them as much as I used to."

He finally pulls away from Dirk, who is looking very pleased with himself.

"You forgot something," Dirk says, pointing to the box.

"There's  _more_?" Jake asks, digging through it. His hands brush against something fuzzy, and he pulls a stuffed fox out of the box, a confused expression on his face.

"Awwww! Di-Stri got you a stuffed animal!" Roxy says, giggling at Jake's face.

"That's so cute," Jane nods, nibbling on a corner of the fudge she gave Roxy.

"Inside joke," Dirk says simply, nudging Jake. He tucks the fox into the collar of Jake's shirt, that smug look on his face again, and Jake is sorely tempted to punch and kiss him all at once.

Jade invites them all to stay for dinner, and regales them with stories about Jake as a baby, and Jake hurries away from them all to decide which posters to take down in his room to make space for the new ones. He's thinking about it very thoroughly when he realizes Dirk is in the room with him, simply watching him.

"You still making your executive decisions?" Dirk asks, moving to flop in Jake's bed.

"It's not as easy as I thought. I love all these movies!" Jake huffs and looks around. "There's only one solution. The ones you got me will have to be hung on the ceiling."

"Can you even reach your ceiling?" Dirk asks, amused.

"Yes!" Jake defends. He moves to stand on his bed and finds that he can still barely reach. Definitely not well enough to tape the posters up there. He frowns at Dirk. "Well.  _You're_ tall enough."

"You only use me for my body." Dirk stands and steps on the bed, holding his hand out for the first poster, which Jake eagerly hands to him, as well as some tape. Together, they get most of them hung up before Jade is calling them for dinner.

"C'mon, English. Dinner ain't gonna eat itself," Dirk says when he notices Jake is still standing in the same spot.

"Um...a moment, please..." Jake hops down and moves to his computer desk, giving Dirk a shy look. "I got you something else. But...I didn't want to give it to you in front of everybody."

"What is it?" Dirk asks curiously, moving closer.

"It's nothing big! It's just...it's between the two of us. Much like your ridiculous fox." The fox is still hanging from Jake's collar. He gives Dirk the tiny case, watching Dirk's expression.

"A mix CD?"

"Yes. It's...you know. It's all the silly things we've listened to over the years. That I can remember, at least..." Jake is starting to stammer under Dirk's eagle eyes. "I-it's just that soon you'll—be going off to college and...I tried to think of something to give you but I couldn't and you've always been so fond of music that I thought this was the best thing to give you! But it's cheesy and that's why I didn't want to give it to you in front of Roxy, because you know she would have made fun of me! And so...there you are!"

"Jake, hey, calm down," Dirk laughs, putting his hands on Jake's shoulders. "I like it, okay?"

Jake nods and swallows thickly, heart still pounding wildly from embarrassment. "You're just very hard to buy for..." he mutters.

"So you say every year, but you always get me stuff I love."

Jake wants to say more, but his grandmother calls them down again, and they hurry downstairs before Roxy can give Jade inappropriate ideas of what the two of them are doing upstairs that's taking so long.

The rest of the month passes by uneventfully, and all of the students are looking forward to the holiday break, especially after midterms. Jake feels like his head is ready to burst from trying to study, and it puts him in a foul mood that he feels only a few weeks of sleeping late and holiday food will fix.

The last day of school finds him trudging through the hallway, in search of Dirk, who was supposed to meet him outside. It's way too cold to just stand in front of the school, so Jake makes his way to Dirk's last class, which is AP chemistry. He feels his temples pounding from lack of sleep and too much studying, and by the time he's entering the classroom, Jake is prepared to give Dirk an ear-full for making him wait.

Except Dirk is talking to someone Jake doesn't know, and that makes it a little harder to gripe at him.

Dirk and the unknown man turn to Jake when he enters, pausing their conversation, and Jake feels like a deer in headlights, his anger quickly evaporating.

"Hey, bro, sorry for the holdup," Dirk says. "He was just talking to me about my midterm."

"Not...bad news, I hope?" Jake asks weakly, his eyes wide and focused on the man, who gives him an eerie vibe he can't really place.

"Not at all. Mr. Strider here had the highest marks in the class. I simply wanted to talk to him about scholarship offers he might consider taking to various schools in the area," the man says, and Jake's frown deepens. Who  _is_  this? Is he a sub? He isn't Dirk's usual teacher.

Dirk gets his bag and zips it up before turning back to Jake. "We can get going now though. Thanks for waiting for me."

Jake wouldn't have waited if they weren't going to Dirk's house. While he likes Dave well enough, when Jake is alone with him, Dave has a tendency to be very...Roxy-like with his questions and insinuations about Dirk. Of course, Dirk's presence doesn't change that much, but at least Dirk can tell Dave to fuck himself. Jake can't exactly do such a thing, even if it would be nice.

"It's fine..." Jake says, looking back to the clean-cut teacher. He  _seems_  fine but...something about him is off. Jake isn't sure whether it's the meticulously cut and tailored suit or if it's the way the man slicks his hair back like a 50's era gangster, but Jake wants to be as far from him as possible, and wants to pull Dirk with him.

Dirk leaves the classroom first, and Jake trails after him, but only after glancing back at the man, who is... _leering_  at him, teeth too sharp and wide to be completely human. Jake freezes in his steps, fear trickling up his spine, and he knows he's messed up, because now the man knows Jake knows something is wicked about him. Jake closes the door and hurriedly scurries after Dirk, staying pressed close to his side, practically worming his way under Dirk's arm, who looks flustered, but otherwise doesn't complain.

Jake stays quiet all the way to Dirk's house, and even remains silent once they get there, not rising to any of Dave's taunts and jeers. Dave has a lot more free time to bother them since his latest deadline is up, and he takes to hanging around the garage while Dirk tinkers with the car, spouting off ridiculous stories and words of half-witted advice until Dirk snaps and throws a wrench at him.

Dirk is tossing Jake these little concerned looks, but determinedly works on the radiator hose. He finally pinpointed where the leak was, and is simply replacing the hose instead if the radiator itself, saving him a lot of money. Dirk finally opens his mouth to say something when the garage door opens and Dave slinks in, moving directly to their side. He looks Jake up and down and then raises his eyebrows.

"You look spooked, kiddo."

"Do I?" Jake laughs nervously, avoiding both their eyes.

"Yup. Did you see Dirk without pants on or something? Shit's traumatizing."

"Okay, you have  _one_  more fucking time,  _Dave_ ," Dirk hisses.

"Hey, I'm being a concerned adult here. If he was traumatized by your Chicken Little legs, I should give him a pep talk. Let him know it could be worse," Dave shrugs.

"Like you're one to talk. You looked like a stretched out noodle."

"I look like a reasonably sized adult."

"Who had two bigger adults pull him from both ends till he stretched into what we currently know as Dave Strider."

"At least if  _I_  had a crush on J-" Dave starts, but he hurries out of the garage when Dirk lifts a wrench threateningly.

"Goddammit, he's just the worst person I know," Dirk murmurs, glaring after him for a moment before turning back to Jake. "But...uh. You do seem kinda...out of it? I guess. You okay?"

"What happened to Ms. MacBurnette?" Jake asks him all of a sudden, startling him.

"Huh?"

"Your chemistry teacher. The one you had a vendetta against for not giving you bonus points?"

"Oh, her." Dirk snorts and moves back to his work. "I guess she realized she was a shit teacher, 'cause she just up and left a week ago. I don't even think she quit. Just didn't come back."

Jake gives him a horrified look, and Dirk's expression turns back into one of concern.

"I mean, I'm sure she's okay, dude. Probably just found a better job."

"You didn't tell me you had a new teacher..." Jake says.

"I didn't think it was a big deal. But yeah, Mr. Droog is pretty cool, I guess. Kind of an asshole though. He kicked this guy out of class for sneezing the other day," Dirk says.

Jake falls silent again, letting Dirk get back to the car. After about a half hour of silence, Jake turns and goes into the house, feeling Dirk's eyes burning a hole after him. He goes to the fridge and pulls out a can of root beer, and suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, Dave is upon him, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.

"So," he says, and Jake blinks confusedly.

"So?"

"So, you're in love with my bro, right?"

Jake opens his can of soda and hurriedly starts chugging it to save himself from having to answer that painfully obvious question.

"Yeah, you totally are. I mean, I guess we always kinda knew you were. Even when you were babies you looked at the kid like he was the greatest thing you ever saw." Dave uncrosses his arms and stands up straight. "Just had to ask, though. Now I can gossip more adequately about it."

"Gossip?" Jake asks meekly.

"Oh, yeah. Me and Jade like to talk about you two an awful lot."

"Not  _Gramma_ too!" Jake wails, forgetting his other woes as his face burns red at the thought of his grandmother and Dirk's brother getting together over mimosas and whatever the hell else they do, laughing about Jake and his pathetic crush on Dirk that will probably never be requited.

"I mean, it's not that big of a deal. You know he loves y-"

Dirk comes out of the garage with black greasy fingers, and he moves to the sink to wash his hands, all while giving Dave a suspicious look. Dave winks at Jake before he heads back to the living room.

"Ready to get going?" Dirk asks. "I think that's about as much as I'm willing to get done today. I feel like if I have to keep looking at that damn car I'll smash my brain to pieces."

"Yes, that's...I mean we can get a move on..." Jake says glumly, his mood further darkened by the conversation with Dave, even though he knows deep down that Dave was probably just messing with him.

They crunch through the snow as they make their way to Jake's house, and Dirk continuously seems like he wants to say something but thinks better of it at the last moment. Dirk's never been good with words, and Jake doesn't expect him to say anything too deep or inspiring. As a matter of fact, last time Jake cried over anything, which was getting a horrible grade on a test he studied  _really_  hard for, Dirk merely patted his shoulders with an exasperated look on his face, and Jake ended up smacking him.

As soon as they step foot inside the house, Jade is upon them, hurrying them to wash up and sit down for dinner, waving a wooden spoon through the air in a mildly threatening manner as she speaks.

" _Honestly!_  You two  _know_  what time dinner is!" she says under her breath.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault," Dirk interjects. "I got carried away working on-"

"No excuses!  _Eat!_ " Jade huffs, pointing to the bowl of chili in front of Dirk, who shuts up and immediately shovels a spoonful into his mouth to appease her.

Of course, it doesn't take long at all for Jade's eyes to hone in on Jake, who is still being very quiet, especially by normal "Jake Standards". But thankfully, she doesn't question him about it. At least, not right then.

"Jake, help me with the dishes," she says curtly, shooing Dirk upstairs. Jake helps her scrape the rest of the chili into a Tupperware container, and manages to get it into the fridge before she asks the inevitable.

"What's wrong, Jakey?"

With most people, Jake could say "nothing", and it would pass as believable. At least with Dirk, Dirk would drop it, even if he wouldn't believe it. But with his grandmother, Jake can't do that. He wants to tell her everything as soon as her caring eyes settle on him, and before he knows it, he's opened a floodgate.

"It's just that teacher of Dirk's has me in a tizzy and I can't stop thinking about how he's probably murdered poor Ms. MacBurnette! And then Dave had to go and mess with my brain and—do you gossip with him about Dirk and I? Because that's rude and I have enough to worry about without the two of you having a laugh about my ill-fated love life behind my back!"

Jade stares at him for a moment before she laughs, and Jake feels himself flushing with more anger!

"Now see here!" he starts, but she holds her hands up.

"Well, of course Dave and I talk about you two. But we don't  _laugh_  at you. Whatever you think we do, I assure you, it's mostly us discussing your future.  _And..._ " Jake is wary of her spreading grin. "Your love life, huh?"

Jake's flushed fury quietly melts into dread at what he's blurted out, not once, but  _twice_  today, to both Dave and Jade.

"Oh...sod off!" he huffs, angrily scrubbing at the chili pot with both hands as Jade laughs again and kisses the back of his head.

"Now, what's this about Dirk's teacher?" she asks, and he explains through mutters and grumbles about Mr. Droog and how he possibly murdered Dirk's old teacher in cold blood, possibly with a machete, though Jake thinks that might have been too bloody for the clean cut fellow.

"Hmmm," Jade says when he's finished, "well, based on what Dirk's told me about his old teacher, I can see why she would have been fired."

"She wasn't though! She just up and left! Which  _I_ think means she's in a box or something—"

"Jake, honestly, we're going to have to stop letting you watch those crime shows! None of that strikes me as odd aside from the inkling of fear you had."

Jake turns to look at her. "You believe me?"

"Of course, dear. Instincts are the best allies we have in detecting foul play. I've told you that all your life."

"What could it mean though?"

"I'm not sure. I would suggest keeping an eye on things."

"But I'm not in that class! And I'm not smart enough to ever hope of being in that class!" Jake wails.

"Hush!" Jade says, clamping her hand over his mouth, which he continues to whine into. "You're smart enough to do anything you set your mind to! But I was suggesting having Roxy or Jane to do it. Aren't they in that class with him?"

Jake blinks and considers that before he pulls away from her hand. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, that's why I'm here! To offer a fresh perspective on things while you wallow in your silly ax-murderer fantasies."

Jake tries to think of which of the girls to ask. Jane loves sleuthing for clues, but Jake has the feeling she would be morally against spying on their teacher, even if it only meant not letting the guy get any of his friends in the room alone with him, like Dirk almost was today. Roxy would probably take the job happily, but Jake isn't sure she would take it seriously, and that's a bigger problem in itself. With a sigh, he unlocks his phone, opening his chat client.

\--golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 20:27--

GT: Jane? Are you free?

GG: Hi, Jake! Yes, I am just getting a head-start on my homework so I can enjoy the break without worrying about it!

GT: You smart types and your studying! I dont understand how you do it!

GG: You're pretty smart yourself, mister!

GT: So you all keep telling me. Is roxy with you?

GG: Not tonight. She's having dinner with her mom. She keeps sending me texts about how pretentious her mom's food choices are though. I'm not sure how lo-mein is pretentious, but Roxy assures me it is.

GT: Okay hang on i am going to call you!

Jake closes the chat and opens Jane's contact, calling her. She picks up on the second ring.

" _Hello again, Jake!"_

"Hello! I have...an odd request. So odd that I knew explaining it over Pesterchum would be silly."

" _Oh? And what is this odd request?"_

"It's about that new Chemistry teacher. Mr. Droog," Jake says softly into the phone, keeping an eye on the stairs and making sure Dirk isn't coming down them.

" _He's a very rude fellow for a teacher. Was Dirk telling you about him? He sent a guy outside for sneezing!"_ Jane huffs.

"Yes, Dirk told me that. I also met him today. I don't like him very much. He gives me the heebie jeebies!"

" _Me, too! Roxy keeps saying I'm being overly suspicious, but I don't like him!"_

Jake counts his lucky stars that he seems to have made the right decision in calling Jane instead of Roxy.

"Excellent! Listen to me, Janey. He was having a private chat with Dirk today before I went in the room to see what was taking so long. He seemed rather ill at me for interrupting, even though Dirk seems to think it was just a friendly conversation about academics. I just—I don't want Dirk alone with him. Or you and Roxy either, for that matter. The way he just showed up right after Ms. MacBurnette disappeared just seems much too creepy."

" _Oh, I agree! I miss her, too. She was a fair teacher, even if Dirk didn't like her."_

Jake knows Jane probably only liked Ms. MacBurnette because Jane has impeccably  _neat_  handwriting, and was probably given every bonus point imaginable for penmanship.

"Can you make sure the three of you steer clear from him? Especially after classes? And if Dirk is held back for any reason, could you let me know?" Jake is aware he sounds crazy, but he's not going to let anything happen to Dirk, even if he doesn't know exactly what he's protecting Dirk from.

" _You really think he's going to do something bad?"_ Jane asks quietly, sounding a little frightened.

"I don't know," Jake says honestly. "It's just a gut-feeling, and Gramma always said I should trust those." He also knows Jane Crocker is much more likely to go along with an idea if an adult is behind it, such as Jake's grandmother.

" _Okay,"_ Jane says.  _"I'll keep an eye on him. I don't really think he's dangerous, but he does give me the creeps"_

After a few more minutes of more friendly conversation, Jake hangs up with her and goes upstairs to find Dirk sitting in the middle of the bed, tossing the stuffed fox he got Jake into the air and catching it. He looks up at Jake and seems...happy to see him, like he was waiting.

"Man,  _there_  you are. Did she have you scrubbing the counter-tops, too?" Dirk asks.

"Huh?" Jake says dimly. He remembers he was supposedly downstairs helping his grandmother the entire time, and hurriedly nods. "Oh, yes. The kitchen was a mess and she was sore at me for being late for dinner again."

"I could've helped," Dirk says. "It was my fault we were late, anyway."

"Don't be silly, Dirk. It was just a bit of cleaning."

Dirk makes a huffy noise like he doesn't believe Jake, and scoots over as Jake flops beside him, tired from the day. Dirk immediately wraps around him like a cuddly octopus, and the same thousand questions fly through Jake's head that he knows he's too chicken to ask.

" _What are you doing? Why are you always touching me? If I tried to kiss you, would you freak out? Do you love me like I love you, or should I just give up hope?"_

Dirk sighs in Jake's hair, ruffling Jake's crazy locks, and his hands clench in the back of Jake's shirt like he's afraid to let go. They stay curled together like that for a long time before Jake has to untangle himself to turn off the light. As soon as he returns to bed, Dirk grabs for him again, and Jake rolls to him willingly, hoping Dirk can't hear his heart pounding.

"So fuckin' glad we're on break..." Dirk murmurs quietly.

"Mmm..." Jake hums. "I'm sure you're glad for the rest. Midterms were much harder for you than me, I bet."

Dirk laughs and shakes his head, the motions pressing his face further into Jake's hair.

"'M just glad to be able to see you more... Never get to see you in school..."

Again, Jake's heart pounds, but only after seemingly stopping altogether this time. He swallows dryly, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat, wondering when exactly Dirk Strider was able to say such profound things that have Jake turning to putty in his hands.

Jake decides he should at least  _try_  to voice his feelings.

"...Dirk?"

"Mmm?"

"I...um... I'm very... I mean." He hides his face in Dirk's neck and speaks in a muffled voice. "It makes me happy...when you say things like that." He finally finishes, because that's safer than  _"I love you so much it physically hurts me sometimes."_

"Yeah?" Dirk says, and Jake nods, refusing to speak again. "Heh. I'll keep saying them, then."

Jake listens to the steady thumping of Dirk's heart and tries to work up the nerve to speak again, but it never seems to come, and before he knows it, he's fallen asleep again, leaving Dirk behind to press a kiss to Jake's forehead that Jake never feels.


	5. The Holidays and the Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Time for an update! I really am sorry my "schedule" has become a thing of the past. I think the next chapter might be the last, but don't quote me on that! Don't ever quote me on anything. I have no idea what I'm doing. 
> 
> Beautiful [fan art](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/post/133665748755/here-is-some-silly-little-fanart-for-petrichor) from [captain-babycrow!!!!!!](http://captain-babycrow.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

December passes fast, Jake thinks. It always seems to because there's always something to do, some gift to buy or some dessert to bake. He and his grandmother don't have a big family since it's only the two of them, but since they basically adopted the Striders into their family years ago, they spend every major holiday together. Jake's always thought it was because Dave can't cook, and his suspicions were confirmed when he stayed at Dirk's house a few years ago, only to be served burned lasagna in a charred pan. Dave had somehow set it on fire and still dubbed it edible.

Christmas rolls around and Jake knows it's going to be very eventful this year. Even with the four of them, it's always pretty lively, but this year might just require a trophy of some sort. There's a full moon on Christmas, and Jake's dreading it.

"Dude, would you chill?" Dirk asks on Christmas Eve as they slide together in Jake's bed. "Dave will probably just drink eggnog and pass the fuck out. He does it every year. The guy's nothing if not predictable."

"Dirk, you don't understand! It's _forbidden_ for humans to know about Derse or its creatures! You're one thing, but if _Dave_ sees you, Gramma and I will be in serious trouble!" Jake squeaks, covering his face.

Dirk is still technically human, but from the moment he was bitten, he became a creature of Derse, and so it isn't forbidden for him to know these things anymore. Dirk seems to be considering this as he studies Jake's face in the darkness.

"I'm not gonna let him find out, okay? Calm down. I've been seeing you freak out about too much lately."

Jake can't recall the last thing he's "freaked out" about in the last few days, but as observant as Dirk is, he's sure Dirk's compiled a mental list of some sort.

"I don't _try_ to worry, Dirk," Jake huffs. "It happens without my consent!"

"Yeah but it's stupid," Dirk shrugs and Jake bristles. "I'm always around to protect you."

Jake's witty retort dies in his throat, and he finds himself curling into Dirk, resting his head on Dirk's chest, falling asleep to Dirk petting his hair.

Dirk's been especially touchy lately, and it resumes throughout Christmas day, his hands brushing against Jake as they flit around the kitchen, helping Jade bake, his warmth always at Jake's back. Jade's been giving them little knowing glances, smiling to herself, and Dirk is either oblivious to the implications or uncaring.

Of course, that all changes when Dave comes over.

"Jesus, bro, let the guy breathe," Dave says, shrugging off his coat and making his way into the kitchen to hover around Jade, watching her cook with a ravenous expression. Dirk glares at him before Jake ushers him out of the kitchen.

"We've helped enough, don't you reckon?" Jake asks while he marches Dirk upstairs. "Gramma can use Dave if he's just going stand there."

They go to Jake's room and play video games for a while, Dirk dominating, as always, though he lets Jake win sometimes. It's nice and comfortable between them, as it always is when they're alone.

"I was thinking the two of us could go work more on your car tomorrow," Jake says after a while, just to break the silence. Dirk hums.

"Sounds good. Dress warm though. I'd hate for you to have to do your dorky warmth dance again."

Jake huffs and button-mashes his controller until Dirk's character dies.

"Why're we eating so early?" Dave asks when dinner is ready. "I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, but I'm used to you making me wait until I think I'm gonna die."

"I just thought it would be nice not to make my boys suffer this year," Jade says while handing Dave plates and instructing him to set the table. Jake smirks when Dave does it without complaint. The four of them have really become a family over the years, Dave clinging to Jade to show him the ropes of parenting. Jake's always been very glad the two Striders had Jade around. Dave was just a scared kid when he became Dirk's guardian, and in spite of all their combined losses, they've all merged into this little makeshift family.

It isn't perfect, but it's enough. It's _theirs_.

Jake watches in awe as Dirk tears into the dinner, rivaled only by Dave, who seems to think the oldest brother _has_ to eat more. Eventually they all have their fill, though Dirk can be seen swiping more bread between conversation, and Dave can be seen overdoing it on the eggnog, as he does every year.

Jake's eyes are on the window and on his watch. He knows the sun is about to go down, and his nervousness only mounts, his leg bouncing under the table as everyone else eats a slice of pie and partakes in small talk.

"Yo, Jake, you expecting someone else?" Dave asks, his voice slurring. "You keep looking around. _Suspiciously_."

"I'm doing no such thing," Jake says, not looking at Dave. "You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"You are drunk," Dirk supplies helpfully. "It's Christmas. You're always drunk on Christmas."

"Jade," Dave says, looking at her, "tell them I'm not drunk and I should be _respected_ as an adult."

"Boys, Dave is right. He's an adult, and if he wants to get drunk on Christmas, it's his right." Jade giggles at Dave's outraged look, and she merely looks at him as he lifts a turkey leg, waving it around as he talks.

"I'm sufferin' such sass this year," Dave says, gesturing around, turkey leg swinging wildly. "Holiday _sass_. I dunno where to even— _begin_ with this injustice." Dave's eyes narrow and he points his turkey leg missile at Dirk, and then Jake. "Y'all are grounded."

"You can't ground me," Dirk says.

"I'm not even under your care!" Jake says.

"Am I grounded, too?" Jade asks, smiling into her hands.

"Yeah..." Dave nods sagely at his own words, and then hiccups. "Everyone's grounded."

"Well, boys, you heard him. You're grounded." Jade stands and her lips are in a thin line as she observes Dave. "If you'd be so kind as to help Dave to the couch, I'm sure he'll appreciate it in the morning. Otherwise he might fall asleep holding that drumstick."

"'M gonna eat it," Dave says. "Just waitin' for the right moment."

Dave ends up on the couch five minutes later with Dirk's help, still holding his turkey leg with a death grip despite being unconscious.

"Maybe if we're lucky he'll beat himself to death with the damn thing," Dirk huffs, ruffled from dragging his brother to the couch despite Dave's floppy resistance.

"You and I both know that's entirely unlikely," Jake says. "But it couldn't have happened at a better time. It's past time for sunset."

"Is it?" Dirk asks nonchalantly, looking at the window. "You're way more worried about it than me. Being a fox isn't so bad."

"It's _Dave_ seeing you as a fox that's bad, you dolt!" Jake hisses, stomping his foot in irritation.

"You just tantrum stomped at me," Dirk says with raised eyebrows, a grin spreading across his face.

Jake makes a strangling gesture at him and stomps into the kitchen, well-aware Dirk is behind him, making a smug face Jake will undoubtedly want to kill him for.

"Don't you have anything better to do?!" Jake huffs as Dirk remains behind him, irritating him just by mere presence. There's a noise a bit like a pop and the sound of fabric shifting, and Jake turns to see the bright orange fox looking up at him, tongue exposed.

"Oh good," Jade's voice says from behind Jake. "I was hoping the transformation would be fast and painless. We both missed it last month."

"Did the potion do this?" Jake asks.

"Yes. Without it, Dirk's entire experience would be much more...graphic." Jade pets Dirk's fuzzy head before turning back to the dishes. "Jake, would you mind—"

"I'll help," Jake says without letting her finish. "I'm the only one able to help you right now, I think." As if on cue, the sound of a turkey leg hitting the floor comes from the living room, and then Dave's tragic drunken whine follows.

Dirk trots over to a chair and hops gracefully into it, his large tail curling over his feet as he watches Jake wash dishes, the smug look still on his face. Jake glares at him, party miffed from earlier still, and also ticked off that Dirk doesn't have to help clean up. How _convenient_ that Dirk doesn't have thumbs right now.

"I suppose we'll exchange presents tomorrow morning," Jade muses, drying the dishes Jake hands to her. "They aren't anything fancy anyway."

They got Dave a very nice file cabinet for his various projects, which Jake knows for a fact are all over a spare bedroom in Dave's and Dirk's house. Jade got both the Striders some essential clothing, warm sweaters, socks, scarves, and Jake can only assume she got him the same things. Jake got Dirk some new handyman tool Dirk's been hinting about wanting. Jake doesn't know what it does, but it looks like a Swiss Army knife except with pliers instead of a blade. Dirk should be pleased, Jake thinks. The thing looks deadly if nothing else.

Once the dishes are done and the counters are clean, Jake lifts the garbage bag out of the can and starts to pull it outside. His feet crunch in the snow as he tries and fails to lift the overly full garbage bag, finally deciding just to let it drag on the ground behind him, leaving a trail. He huffs and pauses, trying to decide how he's going to get this bag in the dumpster when he can't _lift_ it. Then he hears a strange noise that has him looking around.

Across the street, beside the streetlamp, there sits a large, black shadow with bright eyes Jake can't forget even if he wanted to. A wolf too big to be a normal animal. Jake's hands tremble with the memory of those sharp teeth digging into Dirk's shoulder like a knife through butter, but he doesn't run. He stands still and keeps his eyes trained on the wolf, wondering why these blasted creatures are staying so close to his house every full moon.

The wolf takes a step forward, and Jake unconsciously takes one backwards, his foot crunching in the snow. The wolf pauses, its head cocking to the side, and then it stays still once more, studying Jake. It must know it can't get too close to the house because Jade's little gizmos and gadgets are already spinning and whirring faintly, ready to react if the creature gets any closer.

Just the one step towards Jake has the wolf further into the light of the streetlamp, and Jake can see the frightening _leer_ on the wolf's face. Something about it is so familiar it has Jake's blood running cold, a memory clawing its way to the surface of Jake's mind but quickly being silenced by fear. Not waiting any longer, Jake runs for the door, hearing his grandmother's gadgets chime behind him and the click of the wolf's massive claws on the street behind him as it lunges for him. Jade's protective charms hold, and the wolf can't get any closer than the sidewalk in front of the house. Jake hears it growling as he shuts and locks the door, chest heaving as he pants for the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Jakey? What is it?" Jade asks, hurrying to him, Dirk trotting along beside her with his tail arched up. Then the silence is shattered by howling outside, and Jade hurries to the window, her eyes narrowing at what she sees.

"Why are these things hovering around our house?" she says angrily.

"Things?" Jake asks weakly, focused on the plural. He moves to her side and sees three more wolves, all equally massive and terrifying, beside the original, all of them focused on the house.

Jade mutters something under her breath, and the barrier around the house must grow in size, because the wolves all run back across the street, and then into the woods. Jade huffs and turns to Jake.

"Are you alright?"

"I...I'm fine they just...they scared me, is all." Jake stammers, still shaking. A tiny yip at his side has him looking down at Dirk, who nudges into his side with his nose, wide eyes focused on Jake. "I'm really alright, Dirk," Jake assures him, petting his fuzzy head. "Thank goodness for the protective charms..." he adds.

Jade nods and closes the curtains. "They won't be back tonight. But..." she sighs, shaking her head. She turns back to Jake. "Cut me another piece of pie, won't you? I think I deserve to spoil myself tonight. It's Christmas, after all!"

Jake does as she asks, cutting another slice for him and Dirk as well. There isn't a sound around aside from Dirk's tiny happy noises as he eats the pie, his tail wagging. Jake ends up giving Dirk the rest of his as well, enjoying how much Dirk loves eating.

Jake is full and sleepy, ready for bed. Dirk hops upstairs first, and Jake makes to follow him when his grandmother grips his shoulder, pulling him back.

"I'm very grateful we've been keeping Dirk here every full moon," she says quietly, looking down into Jake's eyes. "I think a trip to speak to the queen of Derse will be necessary soon. Something must be done about those foul creatures before someone else is bitten."

Jake looks at her fearfully. "You...think they're after Dirk?"

"They know they bit him. They haven't seen him transform, but they can sense him inside this house. What they want, I don't know. But we mustn't let them get to Dirk."

Jake nods. "When can we speak to the queen?" he asks quietly.

"It's difficult to say," Jade replies. "When I was younger, I could go to Derse whenever I pleased. Now it's harder on me and my old body. I'm not as strong as I used to be."

"Gramma..." Jake says before he can stop himself. He wishes more than anything he could go for her. Could do the work he was meant to do.

Jade smiles at him and pinches his cheek. "Perhaps I'll just send her a message. She knows about my age and usually likes to remind me of it. I'll do my best to seek her council before the next full moon." She sighs and cups Jake's cheek, looking at him with bright eyes. "You're too young to have all these worries."

"I feel as though I'm not old enough to do anything right," Jake agrees softly. "I also feel like time is running out."

"It is. Every day for us all, in that sense. But only to humans." Jade winks at him. "Nothing else measures time but us. And we are very small."

"Right," Jake says, not at all comforted by the vastness of the universe and the smallness of himself when his own worries seem so big and significant.

"We fix what we can," Jade tells him, recognizing his expression. "And we don't concern ourselves with the rest. Dirk is going to be fine. You let me worry about those pesky wolves."

Jake trails up the stairs biting his bottom lip in worry, thinking of the reasons his stomach is churning with nerves. The most obvious is, of course, the wolves. But there are other things on his mind, seeming to take up more and more space, like his inability to do his duty as Jade's grandson, and the fact that soon it will be the start of his final semester of high school.

Jake hasn't discussed many plans with his friends for what comes next because they all have bright futures and Jake...he doesn't have anything in mind. Jade doesn't have much money for school, and Jake doesn't have the grades to help make up the difference. And Dirk...Dirk is a genius. Dirk is probably going to go out and do great things, regardless of being a fox every full moon. Dirk is...

Dirk is going to leave him...

Jake feels heavy and lost by the time he reaches his room, and Dirk is on the bed, biting at his fluffy tail. He stops when he notices Jake.

"Is it itching you?" Jake asks with a tiny laugh, liking the vexed expression on Dirk's face. Dirk merely yips at him and pulls his ears back.

"Don't be like that! You forget I have thumbs!" Jake says, wiggling his fingers around for show. He reaches into the thick fur of Dirk's tail and scratches thoroughly, enjoying the pleased squeaks Dirk is emitting. "Better?" Jake asks smugly.

Dirk yips again and flops down on the bed, his paws in the air. Somehow, Jake understands what Dirk is trying to convey just by Dirk's dramatic actions.

"It'll be daylight soon," Jake reminds him, getting up from the bed to brush his teeth in the bathroom. "You won't suffer from being adorable much longer. Soon you'll be back to your grumpy self."

Dirk growls at him and rolls over, hopping off the bed and following after him seemingly just to glare at him while he brushes his teeth. Jake laughs and spits out toothpaste.

"Do you take offense to not being adorable _all_ the time?" he asks teasingly, quickly finishing with brushing his teeth. He leads Dirk back to bed and turns off the lights, though the room is still bright from the reflection of the full moon on the white snow. The room is quiet around them, and Jake is a little unnerved by the sound of his own heartbeat echoing in his ears.

Dirk burrows under the covers and scoots close to Jake, shoving his freezing nose into Jake's neck.

"Hey! Watch it!" Jake chastises, swatting at the huge fox in his bed. "Your nose is like an ice cube!"

Dirk merely moves closer and does it again anyway, ignoring Jake's squawks of disdain. Jake can feel Dirk inhaling and exhaling against his skin, the fox making a pleased noise. Jake looks over at Dirk, his miffed look disappearing as he sees how happy Dirk is. Slowly, he reaches over and pets Dirk, smiling at Dirk's tiny little squeak.

"I think I like you better this way," Jake murmurs. "You can't hide what you're feeling from me. I think animals have the right idea, in that sense. They're all very straightforward."

Dirk doesn't move or respond in any way, but Jake assumes he agrees.

The next morning, Dave wakes up with a hangover, Jade wakes up to Dave's griping, and Jake wakes up next to a naked Dirk Strider again, only this time, Dirk is awake and looking at him through sleepy eyes.

"You ever think Dave might be part pterodactyl?" Dirk asks in a raspy morning voice.

Jake snickers into his hand. "I doubt it. I think Dave is just a very whiny man."

"I dunno...he screeches a lot like one. I wonder if pterodactyls were the gangly divas of the dinosaur world."

"Hmmm," Jake hums. "We should get up and help Gramma with him. A hungover Dave is a serious job."

"Yeah but not yet," Dirk says, hugging Jake closer. "I'm comfy and you smell good."

Jake's heart pounds and his face burns, but he doesn't move. He stays where he is until he's rescued by Dave bursting into his room, shades already over Dave's eyes, his yellow hair a mess as it sticks up everywhere. He takes one look at Dirk and Jake and yelps.

"Jade! I fuckin' _told_ you we needed to give them a sex talk! My brother's _naked_ in Jake's bed!" Dave stomps back downstairs, and Jake can hear Jade groaning even from where he is.

"I think you're right...he must be a pterodactyl," Jake grumbles, and Dirk smiles.

They endure a sex talk from a ruffled Dave Strider, who can't seem to figure out what to tell them, and simply settles on horror stories of people "getting their dicks stuck in things" and Jade keeps squawking and hitting him, telling him to shut up. They exchange presents in a terse silence, Jake's face feeling like it's going to stay red for the rest of his life. Jake brightens at Dirk's gift, which is an action figure of Indiana Jones on a stand _signed_ by Harrison Ford.

"How did you even _get_ this?!" Jake breathes, handling it and looking at it like it's a talisman of some sort.

"I know the guy," Dave says. "Dirk said you liked him, so I called and asked for it. Ford's an asshole, but he likes signing anything as long as it's not _Star Wars_ related."

Dirk hides his little smile as Jake hollers and dances around with his figure, running to his room to find a place to keep it safe.

The next week is slow, mostly spent working on Dirk's car and in front of the T.V. binge watching Netflix. It's so cold outside neither Jake nor Dirk seem to have the desire for human interaction. It isn't until New Year's Eve they're coaxed out into public, but even then it's just to go to Roxy's house. Jake is already dreading the large gathering of people he knows he'll find at Roxy's. She likes any reason to party but actual holidays seem to make her go above and beyond.

He's proven right when he sees the massive crowd pouring outside of her house even from the street. Jake doesn't think it was even quite _this_ crowded at her Halloween party, and he's already fidgeting in his shoes. Dirk's hand easily wraps around his, warmth spreading across Jake's palm, and he looks up at Dirk in surprise.

"I got you," is all Dirk says, softly, barely audible over the music, and Jake laughs in disbelief because Dirk has him in more ways than Dirk will ever know.

Jake is led around the house in search of Jane and Roxy, who are playing some dance game on Roxy's Wii, a small crowd of drunken people surrounding them. Jake smiles at how into the dance Roxy is getting, and the way Roxy keeps "accidentally" bumping into Jane, not wanting Jane to beat her.

"It's _gravity_ , Janey, I swear!" Roxy says after the fifth time of flopping against Jane, finally landing face-first in Jane's chest, giggling when the crowd cheers. "I say we call it a draw!"

"No! You _cheated_!" Jane huffs, but she hugs Roxy to her. "You're impossible!"

Jake unconsciously squeezes Dirk's hand, pulling Dirk closer to him and standing on his toes to speak into his ear.

"I think we should say our hellos later," he says, tugging Dirk along in search of a quieter setting. Of course they're intercepted by a group of Dirk's friends from the AP classes, all of them wanting to talk to Dirk about things Jake can't follow. At some point, Jake lets go of Dirk's hand, letting Dirk have more freedom to speak to his friends, but not having the tether to ground him from his anxiety gets the better of Jake, and his flight instinct kicks in, sending him upstairs in search of solitude.

He ends up pushing into Roxy's room, knowing he'll find it empty after Roxy's threats to kill anyone who defiled her bed after the last party she threw. Jake's always loved Roxy's bedroom, the glow stars on the ceiling and walls, the posters of cats, and most of all, the little balcony she has attached to her room. Jake easily pushes the glass doors open and settles on the cold ground, shivering as he takes deep breaths and calms his pounding heart, slowly easing down from the looming anxiety attack that was about to overtake him. He knows Roxy means well with these little parties, and Roxy really does try her best to understand, but she's such a social butterfly that it's hard for her to understand Jake's woes about crowds, and Jake doesn't want to bring her down when she's having such a good time. In all honesty, she probably wouldn't notice if Jake deemed not to show up, but it would hurt her feelings later when she found out, and Jake would rather risk being overwhelmed than ever hurting one of his dearest friends.

Jake uses the quiet to think about how he can possibly help his grandmother with her task of talking to the queen of Derse, and he decides the best he can probably do is go along with her when she seeks the queen's counsel. He's only ever seen the queen of Derse once when he was small, but he remembers she wasn't as scary as she wanted to be. Even if he can't do all the things he wants to, he can still ease Jade's burdens as best as he can. After all, he thinks Dirk is more his responsibility than hers. Dirk is, and has always been, Jake's.

He jumps when the door behind him opens, and he turns to tell whoever it is that Roxy would rather not have anyone in her room and to leave if they know what's best for them, but his words die in his throat when he sees it's Dirk, looking rather ruffled and relieved all at once.

"I didn't know where you went," Dirk says, easily flopping beside Jake, immediately scooting closer.

"You act as though I'd ever leave without you," Jake laughs, shaking his head. "I just...I needed a moment."

"I'm sorry," Dirk says hurriedly, "those guys were asking about finals and somehow I got roped into a debate about bullshit. Next thing I knew, you weren't beside me anymore."

"It's alright."

"You're okay though?"

"I'm...admittedly better now that you're here," Jake says quietly, looking anywhere but at Dirk. He sighs happily when Dirk's strong arm wraps around him, nestling him against Dirk's side.

"It's fucking freezing out here," Dirk mutters after a long pause.

"I'm sure I can find a blanket in Roxy's room? She has dozens of them laying around." Jake stands without waiting for an answer, and he hurries back with the fluffiest one he can find, draping it around Dirk's shoulders and then returning to Dirk's side, happy when Dirk's arm returns around him, Dirk's fingers tracking little patterns on Jake's shoulder.

"I can't believe it's almost the beginning of our final semester of school," Jake finds himself saying out of the blue, just to break the silence.

"Mmm," Dirk hums. "Till college, at least."

Jake's heart falls in his chest. "Have you decided where you want to go?"

"Got a stack of letters at home, haven't given them much thought. I'm waiting."

"On what?" Jake asks, confused. "It seems like we've already run out of time to wait on anything at all. I—"

He's interrupted by a loud boom that sends him seeking refuge under the blanket, clinging to Dirk, who is laughing at him.

"Goddamn, Jake, you're like a spooked horse," Dirk says, coaxing Jake back out of his blanket safe house. "They're just fireworks, look."

Jake does, tipping his head back to watch the sky illuminated with beautiful, fiery colors, the darkness lighting up around them.

"I...thought we were in the city limits?" Jake asks weakly, in awe of the lights in the sky.

"We are. But Kurloz and Cronus are down there blowing shit up anyway, so it doesn't really matter if it's legal or not." Dirk shrugs. "People are gonna be shooting fireworks all night anyway, city limits or no."

Jake listens to the drunken laughter below before more fireworks blast towards the stars and then outshine them, a loud bang echoing in their wake. Jake laughs in delight and turns to Dirk, faltering when he sees Dirk is looking at him with a strange expression that has Jake's insides knotting up.

"Dirk...?" Jake asks softly, his eyes trailing to Dirk's lips and then back to his eyes. Time seems to slow down as the echoing fireworks sound further and further away until all Jake can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and then Dirk's quiet breathing. Dirk's hand lifts and trails across Jake's cheek, his thumb slowly tracing Jake's lips, that curious expression still on his face.

"Jake...can I kiss you?" Dirk asks so gently that Jake's heart breaks to pieces and then rebuilds itself, stronger somehow, made whole by these words Dirk is speaking to him.

"You damn well better," Jake breathes, and then it's happening, Dirk's lips gliding against his, Dirk's hand still impossibly warm against Jake's cheek, both their mouths trembling both with how long they've been waiting and how good it feels to have this.

It's simple, sweet, a mere brush of lips and some pressure, but it's the best thing Jake's ever felt in his life, and when Dirk pulls away just enough to tilt their foreheads together and give him a little satisfied smile, Jake pulls him back in to kiss the laughter from his lips.


	6. The Bullies and The Harbinger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, yes I have returned from the dead with updates galore! This story is having life breathed into it, and no, this isn't the last chapter, nor will be the next chapter probably. I told y'all I have no idea what I'm doing. Ever. 
> 
> Phosphenes: The light and colors produced by rubbing your eyes.

The morning school resumes, Jake is in the passenger seat of Dirk's car, his head out the window despite the frigid cold air hitting his face. He's just too happy to contain himself! He waves at a few people on the sidewalk as they pass, and he grins when Dirk snorts at him.

“Dude, roll the window up. It's fuckin' freezing.”

Jake does as requested and uses his free hand to push the little button, his other hand squeezing around Dirk's. He smiles at Dirk before he leans closer, putting his cold nose against Dirk's neck.

“Oh, you— _fucker_!” Dirk swats at him, but Jake can see the amusement on his face. He can always tell when Dirk is really angry at him, and recently, he can always tell when Dirk wants to kiss him.

“Eyes on the road, Strider,” Jake says playfully. Dirk just lifts their linked hands and presses a gentle kiss to Jake's knuckles.

The last few days of their winter break was new ground for both of them, but neither of them had ever shied away from a challenge before. Jake is still having a hard time believing any of it is real, but somehow Dirk has become his _boyfriend_. They had a talk about their relationship status, and both of them were incredulous at the other for not coming forward sooner. Jade merely professed she knew all along, and then called Dave, who immediately came over with a bottle of champagne that he “bought years ago for this moment” and shared it with Jade while congratulating Dirk on finally growing a pair. Jake had to physically hold Dirk back from attacking Dave. It was quite the evening.

They haven't told Jane or Roxy yet, but not out of ill will. It's just that they've enjoyed their quiet little bubble, and telling them is the first step of inviting everyone else in. Jake is already anxious about school, but like hell he isn't going to proclaim his relationship status to anyone who asks. He's waited too damn long to have it.

Dirk pulls the car into his new assigned parking place and puts it in park, but doesn't turn the engine off. Jake looks at him curiously, and suddenly finds Dirk leaning over the glove box to kiss him hard, his tongue pressing into Jake's mouth. Jake groans and pulls Dirk closer, his hands moving to the back of Dirk's neck. He has to be careful not to mess up Dirk's perfect hair, at least when they're about to go into public.

“I daresay we're getting good at this...” Jake murmurs, and his eyes slide shut again when Dirk chases his lips, kisses him again.

“Mmm...won't see you till lunch. Seems too long to wait after the last week.” Dirk looks at him with heavy lidded eyes, and Jake's insides squirm in response. They haven't moved past kissing just yet. Jake thinks Dirk is waiting for Jake to make the first move, and honestly, Jake is too nervous to do so. Either way, he's perfectly complacent with the kissing for now. It's already more than he ever thought he'd get to do.

“You're being silly. Surely you're tired of my constant presence by now?” Jake lifts his hand to cup Dirk's cheek.

“If that were true, we wouldn't have been together like every day since preschool,” Dirk says, and Jake has to agree with that. They share a few more kisses until they _really_ have to exit the car and get to class, and Jake is grateful for it since he's already half hard in his pants.

“No sign of Jane and Roxy,” Jake says as they walk towards the entrance. “Guess we'll have to find them later.”

Dirk groans, and Jake knows it's because they both promised to be discreet until Jane and Roxy knew. Their friends would never forgive them if they heard a rumor before hearing it from their best friends first.

“It's just until lunch, you silly man.” Jake grins up at him. “I'll see Jane in homeroom but I won't say a word until we can tell them together! So you'd best not mention it to Roxy.”

“You realize Roxy is like a bloodhound with this stuff, right? She'll know as soon as she sees me,” Dirk says.

“Well you'd best put on a poker face, then!”

Dirk looks at him incredulously. “Have you _met_ me? My face gives nothing away. It's locked tight as Alcatraz. I'm just saying, Roxy is gonna know before lunch without any words from me.”

Jake smiles and brushes his hand against Dirk's before he turns on his heel and scurries off to his homeroom before Dirk can convince him to have a makeout session in the hallway.

“There you are!” Jane says as soon as Jake enters the classroom just as the bell rings. “You've been a ghost this past week! I was about to send you a message.”

“Apologies, Jane! It's just been too cold to do much. I've been helping Dirk finalize repairs on his car. It's finally running!”

“Roxy mentioned that.” Jane makes a face. “She mentioned a _lot_ of things about the two of you holed up together.”

Jake flushes. “That Roxy...always making things into something else.”

“I told her it _couldn't_ be true. There's no way you wouldn't tell me,” Jane says, her blue eyes narrowing suspiciously. Jake knows he's been caught. He fidgets a little in his seat.

“I'm sorry, Janey... I should've told you sooner... It was just embarrassing! Everyone else knew before Dirk and I even did!” Jake looks at her sheepishly. “Do you think you can forgive this stubborn and _incredibly_ sorry dunderhead?”

To his surprise, Jane's face lights up.

“Seriously?! Roxy said that would work but I didn't believe her! Oh, Jake, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!”

Jake grumbles and turns in his seat as the teacher begins roll call. He makes a mental note to never keep a secret from Roxy Lalonde again.

Jake doesn't even see Dirk in the hallways as he makes class change after class change, and he berates himself for being upset about that fact at all. He isn't going to be all pathetic and lovesick about this! He and Dirk aren't going to be _that_ couple. Even thinking that has Jake's heart racing, though. He and Dirk are a _couple_. It's too good to be true.

Honors Literature is too busy for Jane to tease Jake, and Jake is grateful for that even as they pour over the itinerary for their last semester of high school literature. Their teacher is only silenced by the bell for lunch ringing, and even then she keeps them a few moments later because _she_ is the one dismissing the class!

Jake makes his way to the lunchroom with Jane, and they sit at the table for only a second before Jake finds himself pounced on by Roxy, flattening him against the table.

“You sneaky _asshole!_ ” Roxy yells with glee, and Jake yelps as all the air leaves his body. “How could you think we wouldn't know, huh? Who do you think you're dealin' with here?!”

“I'm...truly sorry, Rox...” Jake sputters. “Could you...please let me...breathe?”

“Oh, right.” Roxy gets off of him and goes to sit beside Jane. She grins in a way that reminds him entirely too much of a Cheshire cat.

“Told you she'd know,” Dirk says as he sits next to Jake. He doesn't wait an instant before throwing his arm around Jake's shoulders and pulling him close.

“You two are just—ugh! I'd bash your heads together if you weren't so adorable. Aren't they cute, Janey?” Roxy asks before tearing into the leftover pizza she brought for lunch.

“ _Very_ cute,” Jane says with a grin, and Jake feels like his face will never stop burning with embarrassment.

The topic eventually changes to the morning of classes, and then Jane starts talking about college, and Jake's stomach fills with another emotion entirely. The truth is, his grades are pretty abysmal, and he barely passed any of his classes the last semester. Funnily enough, his highest grade was in his one and only honors class. He hasn't mentioned this to any of his friends, but he highly doubts he'll be able to even get accepted into college, much less actually _pass_ any college classes. And his friends are all so bright. Jake knows Valedictorian is a close match between Dirk and Roxy, and Jane has always been an all A student. His hunger dies and he ends up giving his lunch to Roxy the vulture.

“Is everything okay, Jake?” Jane asks him, and he nods. He doesn't want to talk about how dumb he feels, because he knows they'll just give him a peptalk and tell him to apply himself more as if he doesn't already try his hardest. He's just not like them. He's never been good at school, and the one thing he _could_ be good at, he can't even do because his mother went and mucked it all up for him. His mood turns sour, and searches for an out rather than bring his friends down with him.

“Fiddlesticks—I forgot something in my locker. I'd best go get it before the bell rings or I won't have the time.” It's a lame excuse and he knows it, but he absconds before they can poke holes in his story. They know how squirrely he can be, and he knows they'll leave him be until the end of the day at least.

Jake trudges to his locker to at least empty the extra books from his bag, and he lingers there for a few moments and allows himself to wallow. He tries not to let this get to him, as there's a community college nearby that accepts almost everyone. It's just...Dirk can go anywhere he wants, and like hell Jake is going to be the one holding him back.

He closes his locker and decides to just make his way back to his literature class, as they have about another half hour of class while the last wave of students has lunch, and the bell is probably about to ring anyway. He makes his way down the empty hallway and is a little surprised when he passes a group of guys. Apparently he isn't the only one ditching the lunchroom.

“Yo, English!” One of the guys says. Jake barely recognizes any of them. He thinks they were at Roxy's New Year's party, but he can't be certain, as he spent most of the night making out with Dirk in Roxy's bedroom.

“Yes?” he asks warily.

“Saw you sucking face with Strider this morning,” one of them says. Jake's blood turns to ice, as he knows this isn't a pleasant meeting between chums.

“Oh?” he asks.

“Yeah. It was pretty fucking gross.”

Jake frowns at them. “If you were spying through the car window in hopes of catching two fellows swapping spit, I'm afraid that says more about you than us.”

It was, admittedly, not the right thing to say.

Jake finds he doesn't regret it even as the group of four surrounds him. He's in a foul mood as it is, and he isn't entirely useless when it comes to defending himself. Growing up with Dirk taught him how to fight, even if he hasn't beaten Dirk in a scrap since they were kids.

When they lunge at him, Jake ducks and slams his fist into the nearest guy's stomach, sending him to the floor. He wonders if he should make a run for it but decides against it. Jake English won't back down from a challenge, especially over something as insignificant as being bullied over being gay. Or...bisexual? He hasn't really thought much about that yet, to be truthful.

He holds his own as long as he can, but they end up overpowering him, as they have strength in numbers. Jake has always been small, but he's convinced if this had been a fair fight, he'd have won.

As it is, he curls into a ball and tries to protect his head as his glasses are knocked off. He hears them crunch as one of the boys step on them.

All four of them aim kicks at him, knocking his breath out of him and probably cracking his ribs while they're at it. Jake opens his eyes enough to see Mr. Droog at the end of the hallway, arms crossed as he observes. Jake's eyes widen as Mr. Droog grins wickedly at him and then enters his classroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Shit, Jeremy...” One of the guys says when the kicks finally stop.

“That'll teach the fag to stop being a smartass,” another one says simply. “C'mon, if they find us here with him we'll get suspended.”

Their banter fades and Jake finally manages to uncurl his incredibly sore body. He lays there for a minute, wondering what to do next, humiliated and afraid to go to his next class looking like this. How is he supposed to face anyone? How is he going to face _Dirk?_

He rolls over and uses the wall to help himself stand and limp to the exit of the school. It isn't like anyone is there guarding it, and as much as he'd love to send Dirk a text to come drive him home, he isn't about to face anyone right now, let alone Dirk.

He puts his hood up as he limps home, his hand holding his ribs as he goes, his other hand trying to stem the blood pouring from his nose. He's glad he at least emptied his bag of books, and he's grateful that his house is so close. He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he ignores it as he finally makes it home, his dampened spirits lifting because it looks like his grandmother stepped out.

He goes to the fireplace and builds a fire to warm himself up, and then he huddles next to it, finally having the courage to check his phone. It's hard to read the messages without his glasses, and he has to squint down at the screen.

GG: Where are you?

GG: Did you ditch? Is everything okay?

He sighs as his phone pings with more alerts.

TT: Jane says you aren't in class. If you wanted to ditch you could've asked me to come with.

TT: For real though, are you okay?

Jake is trying to think of something to say when his phone rings. He groans because this means Dirk either left the room to call him, or he's sitting in class, blatantly ignoring the teacher and calling Jake anyway.

“Hello?” Jake asks softly as he answers.

“ _I see you online, you know. Where are you?”_ Dirk asks. Jake can hear the worry in his voice, and he's sure it's because Jane has been messaging Dirk worriedly since class started back.

“I just decided to go home for the day. I felt sick and... I mean the day was mostly over, anyhow. It's nothing to fret about,” Jake assures him.

“ _You're sick?”_ Jake can hear rustling on Dirk's end of the conversation. _“Wait... Did you_ walk _home?”_

“Yes,” Jake mumbles. “Look, I'll see you in a few hours. You should get off the phone before you get in trouble.”

“ _Well, fuck that. I'm on the way. Do you need me to get you anything? Medicine or—Kleenex or something?”_

Jake's heart swells with affection for his incredibly sweet and stubborn boyfriend.

“I _need_ you to stay in class and stop being silly!” He laughs a little when Dirk snorts at him.

“ _I'm not gonna be able to concentrate. I'll just get my homework from Rox.”_

Jake sighs as Dirk hangs up abruptly. He knows Dirk is probably already on the way, and will be home soon. He stands and clenches his teeth as he climbs the stairs to his bathroom, his body screaming at him in protest. He needs to try and clean up a little, if he can.

To his annoyance, his face is already bruising. His bottom lip is busted, and he's sure he'll have bruises all over before the night is through. It's just his luck really, a cherry on top of his shitty afternoon that he won't be able to hide this. He hears the front door open and he groans as he tries in vain to clean up anyway.

“Jake?” Dirk calls as footsteps climb the stairs.

“Up here,” Jake says, defeated. He wets a rag and starts to mop the blood up from his nose and lip. He doesn't turn when Dirk enters the room, but he doesn't need to. Dirk can see his reflection in the mirror.

“Sick, huh?” Dirk asks, his voice tight. He enters the bathroom and snatches the rag from Jake, pressing it gently to Jake's nose.

“Well. I got in a bit of a scrap,” Jake says lamely.

“A _bit_.” Dirk glares. “Did they break your glasses?”

“Dirk, I don't...” Jake looks down. “It's not a big deal, okay? I landed a few punches, too. I was just outnumbered.”

“How many?”

“Four.”

“ _Four,”_ Dirk repeats. “Four guys just decided to beat the shit out of you.” He's silent for a minute, and Jake can tell he's already figured it out.

“Dirk...”

“They jumped on you because of us, didn't they?” Dirk looks down at him, and he looks angrier than Jake's ever seen him.

“Admittedly, it was also because of my smart mouth,” Jake says, trying to lighten the mood.

“Who was it?”

“Like I'm going to tell you that!” Jake glowers up at Dirk, matching his sour face. “You're going to go pick a fight, I know you Dirk Strider! That won't really solve this, will it? It'd be pointless and you'd just get in trouble. I'm...handling it.”

“You're handling it.” Dirk scoffs. “Explain to me exactly how you have to do that by yourself when I'm part of the reason you got jumped?”

“Because—!” Jake growls and walks around Dirk, exiting the bathroom. “You think you just have to protect me! Like I can't protect myself! Like without you, I'm just this pathetic creature who withers up and dies the second you aren't around!”

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” Dirk asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“All of you, but especially _you_ , Dirk! I'm not a weakling! And dammit, maybe I'm not smart like you, but I'm not frigging useless! I... I'd be fine without you! So when you go to your blasted top rated university and advance your _genius_ career, you can rest easy knowing Jake English is just fine without you in his life!”

Dirk stands there, eyes soft, and Jake is about to take it back when Dirk nods and turns towards the stairs.

“Alright then, handle it,” he says, and then he's gone. Jake flinches as the front door slams and he hears a car engine start and drive away. He puts his back to the wall and sinks to the floor, feeling like he's royally screwed things up.

Jade finds him there later, and he's prepared for a lecture about missing class and an interrogation about who hurt him, but she just hugs him tightly, letting him cry on her shoulder. Jake is absolutely horrible at handling his emotions, but he's always been a crybaby, and he knows his grandmother won't begrudge him for that. She must sense he had a fight with Dirk, because she doesn't ask about his absence. Jake helps her make dinner and then he's forced to sit through her using her potions on his face, healing the cuts and bruises for him. He has to drink one for his cracked ribs, and it tastes like salt, but he manages to get it down.

When he finally gets to his bedroom for the night, his heart speeds up at the sound of a pester, but it's just Jane. He feels guilty for never responding to her, and he does so quickly, assuring her he'll see her in the morning and not to worry. He turns off the lights and lays in a dark room, missing the warmth of Dirk behind him.

He doesn't manage to fall into a peaceful sleep, and his dreams are fitful, filled with Mr. Droog's wicked face and the gleaming leer of werewolves. He jolts awake at the sound of scratching at his window, but it's just Dirk tapping at the glass.

Wait... Jake is on the second floor.

He opens the window and looks incredulously at Dirk, who must've jumped from the nearby tree to Jake's windowsill and— _perched_ there like a bird.

“Dirk, what...?” Jake begins, but he's silenced by Dirk's mouth sealing over his, both of them toppling onto Jake's bed, Dirk's weight settling on top of Jake.

“Sorry. I was angry so I cooled off a bit before coming back. Jade's already asleep so... I just couldn't think of sleeping alone knowing you were here, hurt.”

“I'm not hurt... Gramma healed it all, I just...” Jake touches Dirk's face. “I said awful things to you. I didn't mean them, Dirk... I was upset and...” he pauses. “I don't understand what it is you see in me. I'm an idiot! I... I barely passed my classes last semester, Dirk! And if those guys had jumped on _you_ , you'd have beaten them with one hand! I'm so upset about it because all it did was solidify the fact I'm not _good_ enough for you.”

Dirk growls lowly and leans in, and Jake prepares himself to be kissed but it doesn't come.

“You think I'd settle for anything less than perfect?” Dirk asks softly, his lips brushing Jake's as he talks. “You hype yourself up with these thoughts of yours, and then you run off without saying anything. That shit's gotta stop, 'cause in case you haven't noticed, I'm on your side here.”

“Dirk...” Jake whimpers, wiping at his eyes. “I'm sorry...”

Dirk sighs. “I beat those guys to a pulp. I might be suspended.”

“ _What?”_ Jake asks.

“I went back to school, okay? I was just—fuckin' _filled_ with rage and they weren't hard to find. You weren't lying before, you _did_ land a few punches and they practically pissed themselves when they saw me. Pretty sure I punched some teeth out.”

“Dirk!” Jake groans. “That's exactly why I didn't tell you! Ugh, you're too close to graduation to be so reckless! What if they expelled you for this?”

“I have a super high GPA and more scholarships than I can count. If they expel me, I'll still get a free ride to college, I guarantee it. Besides, no one fucks with you without me beating them to a pulp. And before you say anything, I know you'd do the same for me. I'm not any better than you, Jake. I never thought I was.”

“I just... I just feel so useless... There's nothing I can offer you, Dirk... I can't understand your attraction to me, I—“

“Shhh,” Dirk murmurs, kissing Jake hard and silencing him. His body rocks against Jake's, and both of them groan at the sensation. “Fuck, sorry, do you want me to stop?”

Jake finds he can't speak what he wants. He's too embarrassed by how much he wants this. He opens his mouth and looks away, trying to find the right words.

“No, I just... Not too much?”

Dirk chuckles breathlessly and leans closer. “You're so fucking cute, Jake.”

Jake feels indignant at that comment, and he's about to tell Dirk exactly _where_ he can go when Dirk's clothed dick rubs against his in a way that feels _sinfully_ good, Jake's retort dying in his throat.

“ _Oh... Dirk...”_ Jake breathes, and he loves the way Dirk groans in response.

“How could you think you're not the perfect one?” Dirk asks softly, keeping their bodies moving together as Jake loses his mind at the sensation. “You drive me crazy, all the fucking time. I want you so much and you don't even know you're doing it.”

“Dirk...! Ah!” Jake covers his mouth, knowing if Jade hears them his life will be over. Dirk pries his hand away and kisses Jake, Dirk's mouth swallowing Jake's moans of pleasure as Dirk's hips start to lose their impeccable rhythm. Jake's mouth drops open as Dirk's hand slides into his pajama bottoms and curls around his dick, and he swears quietly as he claws open Dirk's jeans to return the favor before Dirk slaps his hand away and starts pumping them both in his own hand. Jake clings to him as he loses his mind, and he comes in Dirk's hand a second before Dirk does.

They lay together, sharing kisses in the quiet darkness of Jake's room, and Jake would be content to fall asleep like this, mess and all, but of course Dirk gets up to fetch a rag and clean them both up, though he still peppers Jake in kisses every chance he gets.

There are so many things to deal with and Jake's problems aren't really solved at all, but he finds he can forget about them at least for a little while as he falls asleep in Dirk's arms.

The next morning, they endure a lecture from Jade about fighting at school and skipping classes, but Jake notes (unfairly) that Dirk gets extra pancakes on his plate, and Jake gets a snide comment about keeping his door _open_ at night that has him suddenly not at all hungry anyway.  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I moved tumblrs! [sachigram](http://sachigram.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, here is a soundtrack for this chapter: ["Clearest Blue" by CHVRCHES](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZyzX4c1vIs)


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